NANCY PELOSI SAYS A GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN WILL KILL CHILDREN – THEN VOTES TO SHUT DOWN THE GOVERNMENT!

Our roving reporter, Boo Feeder, was able to communicate with a fly that was nibbling on a cheese danish in Nancy Pelosi’s office while she was on the phone with Chuck Schumer. Here is the tantalizing tale:

” No! dammit Chuck I told you not to talk to that gold bastard! How are we going to pull off putting the blame on the republicans if you go flapping your trap with ANYone on the other side? I have memo’s out to all our people at CNN, MSNBC and the networks to say it’s Trump’s fault if children die because of our shutdown. They are all in compliance if you just keep your hefty ass quiet. Got it? “

Fly flew to the window to feign indifference to what he was hearing. His wife, who is a bit slight of hearing, landed on the back of Pelosi’s chair. Lucky for her Pelosi hadn’t noticed either flying insect or the ones gnawing on scraps in her overflowing trash can. Yet.

Pelosi leaned back in her chair answering Schumer’s reponse ” I don’t effing care what I said before! And I don’t give a fly’s fart what that Mulvaney said. It’s all the same, children will effing Dee Eye Eee! That’s our talking point Chucky, stick the eff to it! What? Yes dammit I know what you said. I know what Burnout Sanders said. And I KNOW what Hillary says to do, Re-effing-sist! You got that babe? Resist is all we got. It’s our theme, it’s our time, it’s what we eat for breakfast, lunch and. Dinner? Oh, I don’t know. Yes, I know that sonofabi…” Swat! She squished fly’s beloved wife with one slap at the back of her head. ” Chucky? You hear me Chuck? Watch out for flies! Them dirty SOB’s are wired Chuck! They coming after me. All five hundred of them are in here recording this. Before you know it our little chat will be on Fox-ass News! Chelsie Walters will be telling. What? Yeah, Jesse Watters, whatever. That chump, Chuck! He loves sending in his little fly friends to listen to. NO! Really! I’m not joking. He is lord of the flies. I’m serious! Chuck? Chuck? Bastard hung up on me. Chuck? “

Fly uploaded the recording on Boo Feeder’s iPhone then flew off to what he said would be the most lovely suicide mission in the life of any musca domestica to date. He went directly into the wide open mouth of Nancy Pelosi as she was on her next call to Rachel Maddow. Just before going down the pipes, fly let loose the loudest fart he could muster. Meanwhile, Chuck Schumer was calling Dr. Ronny Johnson to give Ms. Peolosi one of those Chinese? Canadian? whatever, sanity tests.