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PRESIDENT TRUMP TO BE IMPEACHED!! ALTBTL

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Story Submitted by Boo Feeder, Dec. 5, 2017

 

My plasma began to boil. Wafts of vile hatred simmered and smoked throughout the room. The putrid odor of unadulterated anger, hypocrisy and bigotry stole the oxygen from the air making life an impossible illusion. I had to get out before my head exploded. Or, easier yet, I had to switch the channel. MSNBC and their mob of maniacs had gone over the top months ago. They have infected the media’s sewer system and my plasma TV with such outrageous lies that I have no choice but to sack my humorous banter for a few minutes to tell the truth. So help me God.

“President Trump to be impeached!” was being reported as fact after an ABC reporter declared that Michael Flynn was going to flip to confirm Trump’s collusion with Russia. Only after Joy Behar, Rachael Maddow and their corrupt cronies danced with delight over the news did ABC finally admit it was all a lie. ALTBTL. Another Lie Told By The Left.

Facts by fantasy has so impugned honest journalism that I must do my part to deliver reality to those that haven’t the ability to decipher fact from fiction or apply common sense to every day situations.

“The tax cuts will cut off spending on cancer treatment”. Believe it or not, there are people that actually believe that to be true. They believe it because their manipulators tell them so but, of course, that is as far from the truth as earth is from Pluto. Nobody elected to congress whether DNC or GOP is going to cut the throats of their most active constitutions, the over 50 club.

“Donald Trump hates Jews, Women and immigrants”. Really? His daughter, son-in-law and their children, Donald’s grandchildren, are, news flash,  Jewish! Do the Mika Brzezinski’s of the world think he hates them or the faith they follow? Really? And immigrants. His wife, our First Lady, is an immigrant! The controversy is over those that cross the border illegally. The vast majority, Trump agrees, are good, hard working people. It’s the criminals that come over that are at issue. If you were the parent of a child that was killed by a drunk driver that had prior victims south of the border, you might have second thoughts. Letting people in with open arms without checking their records is insane! How can anyone with any humanitarian values disagree with that? Safety, I would hope, would be at the forefront of everyone’s mind when deciding the immigration issue.

“Donald Trump and Judge Roy Moore are sexual deviants”. Words are dangerous to be sure but they are words, not physical objects. What Trump said in a locker room is disgusting but if every man that bragged to another man what he’s done with a woman was a criminal offense, there would be more jails than houses in the USA. Male braggadocio is as old as Neanderthal’s painting their imagined conquests on the walls of caves. Ain’t pretty but it’s totally harmless.

The allegations against Judge Moore are just that, allegations with no proof. In forty years not one woman complained about Moore’s behavior. Only a couple months before an election the Democrat’s deem to be on the hinge of the party’s existence did these women come crawling out of nowhere. That, per any iota of common sense, should be cause for great suspicion.

What is most upsetting to any human being who has even a hint of compassion is the total disregard for the confirmed sexual predators from the left side of the aisle. Bill Clinton had sex with a barely legal girl in the Oval Office and was caught lying about it over and over but the so-called “champions or women;s rights” in the Democrat party go silent as a rock.  Senator Al Franken’s deviant behavior is well documented with photographs yet only now is the left calling for his removal.  Polling is what drives the liberals, not morality. The majority of Americans that were polled by the DNC showed an inconsequential attitude. They didn’t care that Clinton had sex with a young girl in the oval office so the media and the Democrat party let the pervert flag fly. Today, however, there is anger over the sexual misconduct of John Conyers and Al Franken et al, so they follow the polls and demand them to resign. The hypocrisy couldn’t be more evident within the liberals of this great country but the sheep either don’t care or are too enamored by their esteemed leaders to know their own hearts.

“Trump colluded with Russia!”. That lie began with Hillary Clinton’s refusal to accept reality and has festered to every branch of the Democrat’s army of manipulators. There is hardly an hour on CNN, NBC or MSNBC that their hosts don’t follow the puppet masters that give them talking points to insist Trump and Putin fixed the election. Their damning rhetoric is costing Americans millions of dollars via special councils that we have now learned have liberal biased investigators who have skewed reports and leaks to show collusion. The actual fact is that there was and is collusion in DC but it is in between the FBI and Obama’s Department of Justice. They are the ones that did not investigate Hillary Clinton’s emails that violated federal laws nor the possibility of a private Uranium One deal that put millions into the coffers of the Clinton Foundation that keeps ninety six cents of every dollar “donated” to cover “overhead” costs.

The list of lies and deliberate bias in the media and even in the FBI, for God’s sake, is nearly endless. But, all this talk without one single laugh line is exhausting! I, your devoted Boo Feeder, will be back soon with a Much lighter take on the events that shape our lives.

Bye for now!

 

 

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Written by boofeeder

December 6, 2017 at 12:29 am

AN INTERVIEW WITH THE WASHINGTON POST ON JUDGE ROY MOORE

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wp

Our fearless reporter, Boo Feeder, found himself in the belly of the beast this morning on a hunch that The Washington Post was at it again. Boo knows the smell of a rat and that stench was about to knock him over when the door opened to the men’s room. It wasn’t lingering gas from the bowels of the newspaper that violated Feeder’s olfactory, it was the presence of the company itself squeezing its way into the tiled and teak rest room then ran into stall number thirteen. Boo took advantage of the situation to ask The Post some questions about its’ most recent slanderous goings on.

” Post? Can you tell me the source of your claims again Judge Roy Moore? How did you confirm those four decades old allegations?”

“Times? That you?” Came the bellowing voice of Post from the stall reserved for the handicapped. “Times, you SOB! Come in here asking stupid-ass questions like that. Confirm schmofirm! You’re just pissed that we got the scoop. Go back to southeast where you come from, loser!” With that a loud RiiiiiiiiP! belched out followed by a funk from the pits of hell.

Holding my nostrils tight together, I replied “No. This is not The Washington Times. I am Boo Feeder and I was just wondering how you were able to verify the stories you printed alleging Judge Roy Moore had relations with underage girls nearly forty years ago. You certainly double and triple checked facts. I’m wondering how you were able to do that when there were no police reports found to back up the stories.”

“Rachel? That you girl? Oh, sheeee-it no! You that Boo Feeder freefrickinlancer with the cat? Yeah! I know you. Dang, I thought you was a guy! Hey! That thing you wrote on Donna Brazile was damn good. Funny shit that!” This was followed by another Riiiiiiiippppppppp!

Oh good Lord, what am I doing here? To exit the sewage pit, I got right to the point. ” I am most definitely a guy, Post.  Holding my nose shut makes  me sound like Rachel Mad…” Why waste time with that? I continued with “you claimed that Judge Moore had inappropriate relations with four girls thirty eight years ago. I personally checked on those accusers and, to no surprise, one was a former employee of Hillary Clinton and the others have an unquestioned loyalty to the Democrat party. To further muddy their reputations, all four of their finances have improved drastically in the past couple months. New cars, new homes, vacations to Hawaii. It’s as if they all hit the lottery! And in a way, they did, didn’t they Post? Before you answer, I remember a story by your own Bob Woodward that laid claim that local contractors were all colluding to raise bids and to keep outsiders away. When it was learned that the Post was basing the story on one very incompetent man who was mad because he felt entitled to get the work without bidding, the Post never retracted. Nope. The Post led a grand jury on a fairy dust trail until time took away the public’s interest and millions of their dollars. That’s just one example of how the Post has printed fake news to fit their agenda. There are plenty more, dear Post!”

“Big freaking deal! So what? You know how many papers we sell when we make up the news? And advertising! General Electric, Starbucks, Democrat candidates and the list goes on! When a blockbuster headline comes knocking on the door, why lose time verifying it? You just don’t get it do you Feeler? That’s why you’ll never be a”  then a roll of toilet paper came unraveling under the stall’s door. ” Hey Rachel! Kick that back in here, will ya? Come on girl! I got to clean up this mess on me! Damn! GET WITH IT BITCH! The paper, the paper. NOW!”

“Post, why don’t you use your newspaper? There’s no difference between used toilet paper and The Post. Besides, think of all the ads you can print on your filthy ass? I’m sure Northam, Schumer, Pelosi, Clintons and Soros will be happy to cover you with dollar bills to clean up with!” I said with a sarcasm not to be proud of.

Post came storming out of stall bare assed and stinking to low hells. Grabbing for the toilet paper that I “accidentally” kicked out into the hallway, Post fell down and rolled into a throng of onlookers. They gasped in horror as their beloved media giant laid naked in its own waste. One gray haired man said “Oh boy. The old SOB might be down for the count.”

One can only hope.

Written by boofeeder

November 11, 2017 at 3:37 pm

DONNA BRAZILE STEPS ON HILLARY CLINTON THEN TELLS HER TO GO TO HELL!

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dnc-brazile-clinton

Donna Brazile, a long time Democratic strategist and mouthpiece for everything liberal, has stepped all over her former hero, Hillary Clinton. In her book, Hacks, the 57 year old woman who has been described as “openly lesbian”, laid the equivalent of tar and feathers over the former Secretary of State for rigging the 2016 presidential election. In her book, Ms. Brazile exposed the failures in the DNC that made Donald Trump the 45th president of the United States. To a point, Brazile outed Clinton as the one who rigged the nomination in a way that she, and only she, would be the Democrat Party nominee then go on to a certain victory in November 2016.

We all know how that went.

Lucky for his fans and followers, Boo Feeder was walking past a Starbucks when he saw Donna Brazile at a table. She was there for a book signing with stacks of Hacks but no customers so Boo bolted in to seize the opportunity.

” Miss Brazile! Hope you don’t mind if I ask a couple questions this morning. ” I screeched one of those noisy metal chairs over to her table and sat down before she could say no.

” Who the hell you? Where is my book you want signed? What you want to ask me boy? ” She  said while spitting her latte in my eye.

” My name is Boo Feeder. I am a freelance reporter with tens of thous.., er, tens of followers and we all want to know how Hillary Clinton managed to fix the primaries “.

” Lookit here Feeder, I never said Hillary rigged or fixed the damn election! It was the Russians! You take that down real easy boy and you take it down right. I did not get it on with Hillary! She met me before the debate and I talked to her, that’s mighty damn right. Sure, I handed her the question list. So what, white boy? That is my freaking job! Then that damn Wackoff Leaks got my emails. Now that ain’t right! All I got out of all my work for the Democrat Party was fired and a kiss on the cheek from Hillary Damn Clinton! A peck on the cheek! Like I was expecting a little more, right? Maybe a hug? A kiss on the lips? Maybe cop a feel of my big, ample breasts? A peck on the cheek? Damn! I said right there that That’s It! I’m going to put Joe Boy Biden in her place. That dirty bee-atch! Biden says No! Not in this lifetime! He’s afraid of the Clinton’s, especially that Hillary. He says Donna? You know what happens to people that go against her? They have sudden heart attacks! Weird ass accidents! They die Donna! Shit, he’s right. I know for sure! So I write this book you want signed. I got bank for that from you know who! I take it all back though, right? Hillary didn’t “

The woman sitting across from me has lodged so much mocha latte into my eyes by now that I couldn’t bear to hear any more of her slabbering. ” Miss Brazile. Excuse me ma’am. All that is in your book. What I want to know is this, are you going to support Joe Biden or Bernie Sanders in 2020? “

” Is you out your ever racist mind Feeder? I  got my own pick for 2020 and it is Not none of them two losers! No! What we need here is hope and change! What we need here is somebody who has Never been in politics in her whole life. Someone to take on that gold-ass bigot and toss his fat ass out on the sidewalks of New York where he Nevah! shoulda left. No sir! We, I mean I, am going to make us a new president! One who knows blacks have been sitting in the back of the bus too damn long. And women! We need representing! Boy, we, I mean I, am going to make her the next president of the United States! “

With that she pointed to a laminated card on her key ring. In the middle of the lamination, surrounded by hearts and roses was the image of a woman that was further smudged with lipstick kisses. I  had an idea who her idol was but had to ask.

” Why that is the next POTUS you poor white man! That there is MO! Oh my word, is she she going to straighten you and every other white-ass honky cracker out like chickens on a string! ” At that she pulled a picture of Hillary Clinton out of her bra, threw it on the floor, jumped out of her chair stepping all over Hillary and spinning around the coffee shop chanting ” GO TO HELL HILLARY! WE, I MEAN I, WANT EM-OH, EM-OH, MO TWO OH!”

The Starbuck’s baristas joined the merriment singing ” MO, MO, Mocha Ole! Mocha Ole! We love our mocha ol”. That’s when Donna Brazile threw her chair at the unfortunate singing duo. She screamed ” What the hell you white people know about mocha brown anything? I don’t care about your stupid coffee. Shit, I got better coffee at the Piggly Damn Wiggly! Mocha Ole, what kind of crazy cracker shit it that? I was talking about the one and only EM OH! And she is going to run this whole damn world like it should be done! M-O, MO, MO TWO OH! “

The chanting and throwing of chairs continued until every table, every window, every person in the little store went crashing to the sidewalk outside. I knew at that instant just who her leader was, who Brazile planned on propping up for the 2020 election and I began to shiver. The only hope for all of us is that there will be full exposure on the rigging investigation and the real Russian story.  That the Clinton’s and Obama’s will be exposed and  MO will never be president of the United States.

Written by boofeeder

November 5, 2017 at 7:02 pm

INTERVIEW WITH NANCY PELOSI AND HILLARY CLINTON ON GUN REGULATION

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hillpol

By a stroke of luck, fate, happenstance or whatever you want to call such a chance meeting, Boo Feeder found himself stuck in an elevator with Nancy Pelosi and 2016 losing presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton. Their conversation was, well, read the transcript for yourself:

Warning! Contains offensive, vulgar language.

” Mrs. Pelosi? Mrs. Clinton? What a surprise to find both of you here at the Trump International Hotel! ” I said while boarding the Executive Elevator on the third floor. Unbeknownst to the women, I reached around my back to press the Stop button. Penthouse suite be damned! There were too many questions to ask in just six floors.

” Who the hell are you? ” They said in unison. Then Hillary said ” Oh holy freaking shit. It’s that lowbrow what’s-his-name, Boob Feeler. Hey! What the fuck? Why are we stuck in this piece of shit box? ” Then, again together, they screamed ” I love your box! “. Obviously the ladies had one or eighteen too many at the bar. This will be fun!

” Ladies. it is rumored that you are pooling resources to revise the second amendment. True? False? ” I asked with my back to the button panel.

Pelosi began with ” Revise my hairy, wet ass! That amendment is going DOWN! Who needs guns anyway? Boob Feeler! Love that name. You want to, you know….”

” Boo Feeder ma’am and no, I don’t want to feel you up. Thanks but no thanks. So, you mean to take guns away from all citizens? Everyone, Mrs. Pelosi? ”

Hillary Clinton piped in ” Goddam right Goof Baller! Nobody should have a gun. NOBODY! If there were no guns there would be no goddam gun fucking violence ASSHOLE! ” Then she turned to Mrs. Pelosi who was sucking her fingers and said to her ” Nan baby, it’s going to be okay. We’ll get in our suite and I’ll make everything fine, honey.”

I tried to ask them if they planned on outlawing knives, cars, hammers, tire irons and the like. Not to mention the scalpels of abortion doctors who kill over 200 babies a day but, without warning, the women attacked me with, you guessed it, guns! Both pulled 9mm Glocks out of their purses demanding I get them out of this box so they could get into boxes they both loved and pined for.

Funny thing was, when I let go of the Stop button, the women didn’t get out on the ninth floor. They inserted an Executive Pass key and, hand on hand, pushed the CT button. Now, what do you think they wanted to do in the Clock Tower in DC? This could be bad. Real bad.

Lucky for us all, their visit to the clock tower was not for nefarious means. They just wanted some ” alone time ” as Mrs. Pelosi told me later when I saw her and Mrs. Clinton at the bar sipping out of a bottle of  Drambuie with interlaced wet hands squeezing together tightly. Each had one hand on the bottle on the table and one hand on their pistol under the table. The mystery of why the clock bells struck seventeen times at the stroke of one, was solved!

 

Written by boofeeder

October 6, 2017 at 4:20 pm

NANCY PELOSI CALLS FOR UNITY – OR WHAT

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In an exclusive interview with our Boo Feeder, Nancy Pelosi made some interesting observations that we are still trying to unravel. Read the question and answer session to form you own opinion. She was about to enter the Washington National’s stadium to watch the 108th annual Congressional Baseball Game when Feeder caught her in the elevator.

“Mrs. Pelosi, my name is Boo Feeder. Can I ask you a few questions before the game begins?”

“Feeder? Oh why yes of course! Your name ends in a vowel right? I always feel a special connection to our Italian – American heritage! ” She said while flailing her hands inside the tight space of an elevator.

Amazed that Mrs. Pelosi thinks an “r” is a vowel, Boo Feeder smiled then took advantage of the opportunity and continued the interview with ” Mrs. Pelosi, you called for Donald Trump to be impeached on Monday then one day later after the shooting of Steve Scalise said that you pray for Trump to have a successful presidency. Which one is it ma’am?”

“Young man! Why are we not moving? I pushed that button thingy for the penthouse suite and we haven’t left the first freaking floor!” She swung her arms so hard that her right hand hit Boo Feeder in the nose causing his delicate olfactory to spill blood all over his shirt. ” Hey pie-san you’re going to get blood on my Prada purse! You dumb wop! Get me out of here!” This time it was her left hand that she slung into his eye. “And hey pretty boy. What’s your name? Guido? Guido push that god damned button again. The one that has ML on it. Mi Lacasa! My home! Get me there goom-bah!”

Seeing no point to tell her ML was for the Mezzanine Level not whatever this crazy woman who’s now given him a black eye to match his broken nose, Boo went on ” Do you agree that the hateful, violent actions on the left such as mock beheadings and assassinations have ginned up the more mentally unstable citizens like the man who set out to massacre republicans?”

The elevator stopped then Pelosi stormed out screaming ” Where’s my people? Where the hell is my goddamned aide? Antonio, where are you sweetheart?” she kept yelling to crowds of people who kept clear of a woman who would have been best served with a straight-jacket than a Prada handbag.

Feeder, running after her with one hand squeezing his nose and covering his eye with the other looked just as insane as his prey. Then, lucky for him, someone on Pelosi’s staff swept her into a corporate box where he continued the conversation.

“Mrs. Pelosi, please can you tell me whether you blame the pundits, politicians and media for dividing the USA with acts of violence and what can you do to stop the madness?”

“Here boy, use this napkin on your nose. It’s disgusting!” She handed Feeder a Kotex she’d kept in her purse in remembrance  of happier days then said “Blame? Oh no, I don’t blame my dear friends Ratchet Madcowe, Dan Crathers or Katy Griffing or anybody. We have to get it on! You know what I’m saying pie-sang? How dare they be so sanctimonkeyous! C’mon Boosh, we got’s business to take care of!” She slurred out then rolled her head backwards demanding someone walking by the opened door “Boy! Get me a damned drink! Vodka on the rocks but not the Russian kind. Leave that for Donald Trump. He drinks Russian vodka you know. I think he should..” Pelosi stopped mid sentence to stand up and run out on to the walkway screaming ” Did you hear that? Some guy on the loudspeaker said ” Sherman shot a bullet down first base line!” then screamed “GET OUTA THIS GOD FORSAKING PLACE! The freaking ass tanks are coming for us with weaponage! ”

Boo Feeder let he go, trying to interview a sober Nancy Pelosi was hard enough. Making sense of Pelosi after she’s had one or seven too many was a task only MSNBC would partake in. He went to the nearest Quick Care to have his injuries patched up then drove home breathing through his mouth and negotiating 495 with one eye, a task almost as dangerous as an interview with Nancy Pelosi.

 

Written by boofeeder

June 16, 2017 at 5:00 pm

BARACK OBAMA PLAYS GOLF WITH RUSH LIMBAUGH’S BALLS!

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rushball

Shortly after feinting sorrow over the horrendous murder of an American journalist, our fearless reporter went undercover as Barack Obama’s caddy in a Martha’s Vineyard private golf course. He had only a few minutes to disguise himself before President Obama frolicked from a makeshift podium to the first tee but, to our delight, he pulled it off. Here is Boofeeder’s own John Q. Public’s report:

At hole number one, Mr. Obama twisted and bent to the rapping of N.W.A.. Moments after “Damn, that shit was dope”, Obama threw a fist in the air then turned to me to say ” Ah, boy! Ah, toss me one my, ah, balls. Feeling dope today! Give me Rush Limbaugh’s ball out of the sac. C’mon boy! It’s going to be a good damn day!”

I reached in the side pocket of his golf bag that was decorated with a profile of Obama at the Arc De Triomphe and a presidential seal below his shoulders. There were dozens of balls with photo’s printed on them. Glenn Beck, John Boehner, Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly slipped through my hands before I found Rush’s face.

“Damn boy! Give me that Limbaugh ball toot freakin sweet! I’m gonna smack the snot out of that cracker! Ah, you going to have to pick up the pace boy. I’ll be lucky to get in eighteen before some knucklehead interrupts me with another damn news piece I don’t give a rat’s ass about. Boy! I said now!” He demanded.

I handed him the ball and a request ” Mr. Obama? I respectfully ask that you not refer to me as ‘boy’. I’m a man. Served in Iraq and Afghanistan and now a police officer in Boston. Being your caddy today was an honor I proudly volunteered for and graciously accepted. I am not a ‘boy’. My name is John.” Mixing in fact with fiction made me feel like a politician but as they say ‘when in Rome…’.

“Ahh. You think ‘boy’ is offensive? Listen here boy, it’s only degrading when a white honky calls you that. But, ah, from one black man to another, ‘boy’ is a ‘nom de noir’. Nom de Noir! Just made that up, boy! You like…” As Obama was slapping himself on the back while bending over to put Limbaugh’s ball on the tee, his Blackberry jingled to an old gansta rap rhyme by Ice-T.

“Ah, yessir. Yessir. I know that sir. But..” he said in a lower voice as he kicked Limbaugh off the perch then continued ” Sir? Eric said it was okay. He said he got it from you that I should keep it cool and play golf today. Oh, you didn’t? What’s that George? Ah, yeah. I know. Yep, I did call him ‘Jim’ not James, but that’s what Eric…yessir. Good bye Mr. Soros. I’ll clean it up right after this vacation. Bye”. With that Obama teed up the ball with Rush Limbaugh facing directly at the club head and gave it a hard whack. “Take that El Honky!” he shouted.

The ball flew out about one hundred yards then took a nasty slice to the left and splashed into a creek. We got into the golf cart personalized with the presidential seal painted on the front, back and roof. I drove up to where the ball went out of bounds but Obama told me to move on up another fifty yards. He demanded another Rush ball and, after two mishits, landed the golf ball into a sand trap bordering the perfectly manicured green. The president walked past the trap and ordered me to toss him another ball “Ah, let’s have Nancy Pelosi boy. And, ah, hand me that putter with the rubber front. Can’t hurt Nancy! Always use a rubber when you spanking a woman like that, boy! Yep, put her lips on my balls, I did. Used one of those photo engraving machines in my spare time. You know, ah, when the folks in the cracker house get busy with writing talking points for me and my minions. Chris Matthews and all them at MSNBC, ABC, NBC, CBS all get told what to say so what else am I to, ah, do? I asked George if it was okay if I took up a hobby and he said ‘Balack, why don’t you go in the basement and play with your balls?’ And so I did! Started out pasting pictures on my balls then Michelle said ‘Brack! Get with it man. There’s a machine for stamping your balls. Use it or I’ll stamp on your balls myself!  Josh will bring one down to you. You stay put Brack. When George says it’s okay, I’ll come get you and your balls my damn self. You got that?’

The president laughed at the innuendo’s then tapped Nancy Pelosi on her inflated lips. The ball came up short of the hole but Obama picked it up and said to me “Ah, I’ll take a three on that boy. Birdied the first hole! That’s the way to start a round! Told you, boy, it was going to be a glorious day for me!”

Again, I couldn’t keep my big mouth shut and told him that there’s no way I could write down a ‘3’ on the scorecard that was printed with Barack Obama’s image and titled “Hope, Change, Fairways and Greens”. In reality it took him no less than ten strokes to get his balls in the hole. “Sir, one in the creek, two out, hitting three then swinging and missing twice before bouncing it in the trap, that’s six. You skipped the sand bunker to place a Pelosi ball five feet from the hole, that’s seven, eight. Then missed the putt and picked it up declaring a ‘gimme’, that’s nine, ten strokes on a par four. And you say to give you a three? No sir. In the name of integrity for the game, I can’t do that. Sir. And sir? My name is John, not Boy.”

“Boy! I told you that it’s only bigoted to call a black man ‘boy’ when it’s an albino bacon bits belegana saying it! Damn, boy, you know I am the POTUS, right? I can do whatever the hell I want to do. Rules, regulations, laws? That’s for little people, not top dawgs like me! Shit, boy, you know who I am? Playing this game of golf? It’s like ruling the world. I put the enemy’s face on a piece of wood and smash him, or her if you’re talking about that Palin or one of them Fox News girlies, and watch it go into oblivion. That’s, ah, war, my boy. One of these days a golf course will be just like the world I was promised to rule. George and Eric say that in a perfect world, the golf course of politics will be one big ass open field kept mowed by, ah, ‘surfs’ is what they said, whatever that means, with one humungous hole the size of New York City in the center. One world, one nation! With moi at the middle of it all! Yessir boy. You stick with me and I’ll….” Obama broke off his maniacal rant to take another call.

“Where? Free Go Son? Fergie’s Son? Sheeit, Eric, you going where? For what? Oh yeah, Josh told me about that. Damned white aryan cop murdered that innocent young brother. Ah, yep, Josh called me yesterday while I was on the ninth hole ’bout that. Cost me an eagle! Had to take a bird there. I took Glenn Beck and whipped his conspiring white cheeks in the lake. Cost me an eagle Eric! Yeah, ah, you go there and tell them I’m thinking of all them black people, ah, victims. You make sure of that, okay?”

The POTUS turned up the speakers in the cart with Capone N Noreaga screaming “100 channels, turn station, operation 140, Earthquake would bring glory, Noreaga, but for short just call me Nore Catagory, point-blank end of the story”. Obama said “Now that’s dope, boy! Boy? Boy? Where you going boy?”

It was more than I could take. I wiped off the charcoal and turned my white honky-ass face back to Barack Obama and said ” From one ‘boy’ to another: Your balls are all wet!” then tossed all his golf balls in the drink and ran like a scared cat back to my SUV and drove away with three black Cadillac’s chasing me. As I rounded the turn losing the Secret Service back at the gate, I saw Barack Obama kissing what looked like the Sister Souljah ball that slipped out of my hand at the second hole.

End of report.

 

 

 

Written by boofeeder

August 22, 2014 at 2:26 pm

NANCY PELOSI & HARRY REID FIND MH370 MISSING PLANE!

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Written by boofeeder

April 1, 2014 at 6:56 pm