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July 12, 2018

by Boo Feeder

The one most glaring outcome thus far in today’s public hearing with FBI agent Peter Strzok, is the most liberal use of Webster’s Dictionary definitions of “gentleman” and “bias”. Neither word has ever been so challenged by the likes of Democrat Congress members Jerrold Nadler, Elijah Cummings, Sheila Jackson Lee et al who have acted nothing like “gentlemen”. Addressing them as “Your Arrogance” or “Your Smirkiness” would be more poignant for these people who have no interest in finding the truth in how Peter Strokes’ bias interfered with his leadership in the Trump-Russia farce. Bias, per Peter and his cohorts, exists only on the right and in the studio’s of Fox News. How dare Trey Gowdy think that Strzok saying Trump will lose the election 100,000,000 to Zero if adultering Peter and Lisa had anything to do with it is biased! That’s like saying water can only flow downhill. How absurd!

Aside from creative definitions, the Democrats came into the hearing today each with talking points to further their agenda, and I, Boo Feeder, has the evidence! In as much as the FBI would want you to believe that their agents are above the law and act without bias, there is nothing more scathing than a woman scorned. Lisa Page, the cheating lover/sex mate of Peter Strzok, did learn a few tricks at the FBI besides the art of getting laid in the supply closet completely unnoticed by an office full of detectives. She was able to tap into the Democrat talking points memo that was handed out to all on the left side of the aisle and sent it to yours truly. A mistake by the gummy woman, you say? Yes! She meant to send it to the manager of a porn site that has promised her fame and fortune since being canned by the agency, Mr. Boob Feeler. As a matter of nothing less than Divine Intervention, I have the memo meant for Mr. Feeler and am happy to share it with you.

To one and all in the house:

1) Call “point of order” at every chance! Take turns, do not holler all at one time lest it look conjured. Throw in “Point of ( fill in the blank eg Law,  Parliamentary Procedure, Sexual Dysfunction – ha! gotchya! There is no such thing..yet!)

2) Scream out “Why are we here?!” when it’s your turn, or even when it isn’t.

3) Be sure to call out “Children are being separated by Trump! And we are wasting time on a bs (bullshit) hearing!”

4) Impeach Impeach Impeach!! Re-effing-sist! The coup de grass (as in the doobie we’ll all be smoking at the end of the day) will be in walking out En Masse! At precisely 5:00 pm, all Democrat Socialists Walk The Eff OUT!

5) Be indignant! The nerve of these flag waving, red white and blue fascists questioning our main man!

6) Cheating on a wife does not mean you’re dishonest! Like, who doesn’t taste a different piece of pie once in a while? Be for real people! Don’t let the bastards call our boy corrupt!

7) Remember to do what we do best – Point fingers and create chaos! C’mon y’all SUYA! You know, Step Up Your Ass!

8) Everybody, heads up. Peter Stroker has that self-righteous, arrogant look Down The Effing Pat! Take notes, copy that look. Eyebrows squinched down, eyes squinted, mouth agape in bewilderment that anyone would question his/your integrity. He does that look without effort, so can you!

9) Interrupt at all costs, especially that Gowdy guy. Shout him out! Children, Abortion and ICE should be fixed, not grilling a fellow socialis…Democrat.

10) Last but not least – RESIST! This is our best chance to show why we need a global government. This “America” thing is o-l-d. Free healthcare! Free housing! Free Food! Free money! Free cars! Free weed!!

The one most important takeaway from watching these clowns on CircusTV is this: VOTE! There can be No excuse to not exercise your right to vote. Left, right, middle, just vote these poor excuses for public servants out of DC. Out of the USA would be better but that’s too much to ask for. Isn’t it??




Boo Feeder Reports TRUMP RIPS CHILDREN FROM ARMS OF MOMS TO THROW IN A TENT CITY! And The Sycophants That Believe It!

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Updated 6/18/2018

Some media are making up headlines like TRUMP BUILDS TENT CITIES FOR CHILDREN TORN FROM THE ARMS OF THEIR MOTHERS! and, sadly, the angry mob of leftest lemmings believe it. What they should do with preposterous reports like that is check the facts before feeding their need for anything anti-Trump. To be fair, checking and triple checking facts is what we all need to do with today’s agenda driven media.  

CNN and MSNBC published a photo of children of illegal immigrants lying in waste in hot cages. Their headline was that Donald Trump was caging innocent kids. What they didn’t admit to until they had to was that the picture was five years old when the Deporter-In-Chief, Barack Obama, was responsible for imprisoning immature immigrants. The lie was exposed but the maya culpa, of sorts, came in a half sentence at a time when their diminutive audience was even smaller.

The #TENTCITY that is the subject of this post must be clarified. It is true that the Trump administration is looking for answers to the dilemma of children of those that chose to cross the border illegally. They are either sent over the border by their parents knowing that the USA will care for them, or, they are left behind by parents or guardians who have broken the law by coming across the border illegally. What to do with them is a problem that needs solved by the right And the left. Schumer and Pelosi need to gin up their base to work on solutions with the Trump administration. Their message of Resist! gets nothing done. Nobody wants to see children suffer at the expense of their guardians. The Left must STOP the lies and using innocent children as pawns to further their agenda. 

The left is best at pointing fingers aways from the culpable ( see previous post of May 31 MSNBC, CNN, THE NETWORKS AND CHELSEA CLINTON GIVE TRUMP THE FINGER!.  The likes of the angry mob will tell you that it’s not the parents who’ve chosen to break our laws with their children in tow who are at fault. It is that bigot, misogynist ogre Donald Trump rounding up poor innocent children, as if their parents are heaven-sent angels on earth. So, it was DJT who yanked kids out of Mexico just to let them swelter in a hot, Texas warehouse. Really? YES! The sycophants would holler after checking their intelligence and common sense in at the slippery gates of the DNC. There are children held in a warehouse to be sure but to say they lay in unbearable conditions is yet another lie. The innocents are fed, bathed and cared for by medical doctors and psychologists. In most if not all cases, they are in much better shape than in days prior to the illegal acts of their parents or custodians.

One more fact that must be outed is why there are so many children from Central America and Mexico being shuffled into the USA under cover of night. The quick answer beside of the Bush and Obama rules that called for the rounding up of these children for deportation, is MS-13. The murderous gang rustles up poor parents south of the border then scams their lifelong savings from them with the promise that the children will be taken into the USA where foods and riches will await them. The sad truth is that once the thugs smuggle the innocents over the border, they are left alone to fend for themselves or die from exposure,

Put two and two together and you get what’s really going on in this sad situation. The Democrat party who build their base with the poor and disenfranchised. They do it with the African-American communities and now with the Latino immigrants. The level of compassion for those peoples can be seen in American cities where they are kept in poverty year after year, decade after decade. Keeping the poor dependent on the Government assures votes for the Democrats. Right? NO! Believe it or not Ms. Pelosi, the minorities may be poor, for now, but they are not by any means, stupid. And neither are we. The alt-left media and many politicians are using the children of illegal immigrants not only for future votes but they are doing it to line their pockets with dirty money. The drug trade that also uses the children as mules and smugglers pay to keep their business going. How surprised would you be to learn that politicians and pundits alike are being paid by MS-13 and the Mexican drug cartels? I leave that for you to answer. I know mine! 

As mentioned prior, check then check again these facts. It will take some work and plenty of reading between the lines but that’s the only way to get the truth out of a free press that has no problem screaming FIRE! in a crowded theater after spilling a drop of their 56 shot, 14 pump latte.


Written by boofeeder

June 14, 2018 at 5:14 pm

WHAT’S IN THE PENNSYLVANIA WATER? Planned Parenthood, Santorum & Helsel are drinking Crazy Water!

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Boo Feeder

March 29, 2018

It is now confirmed by my tireless sources that  water taken from the former state institution for the mentally deranged, Buckley Springs Hospital, was bottled and sold as “spring water for your brain!”. The first three orders of “Crazy Good Water” were given away at no charge and it’s no secret who those lucky recipients were. Former US senator Rick Santorum, Blue Mountain school superintendent David Helsel and Planned Parenthood Keystone each welcomed a free case of “spring” water. As it turns out, the slogan should be ” spring water on your brain!”


The insanity came first from Helsel who mandated a bucket of river rocks be placed in the classrooms to thwart an attempt by a madman with a gun. Picture that:


“Okay boys girls and those that have not decided your sex, there’s someone at the door with a Tommy gun. Be calm and come up to my desk single file, take one rock then return to your seats. When I say “toss!” gently throw your rock at that masked person who must have had a sad childhood and just needs a lot of love and empathy. Aim for his feet! No need to hur…..” Thud.


The second bottle of H2O was consumed by the Pennsylvania office of Planned Parenthood who sent out a tweet saying that if only a Disney princess killed a baby, there would be so much more support for their mission to murder even more than the 30,000 children in Pennsylvania alone they flushed and/or filleted last year. This was overheard in The Gutted Goose Bar and Lounge in south Philly:


“Shit, damn, shit. That goddammed Fox News put out that tweet like it was something bad. Cee Cee called and said I had to take it off Twitter ’cause, shit, like it’s wrong to ask for help from Disney! You know? If we had one of them princess girls getting abortion it would be Pay Day! And what if we could televise it! PP would be flush! We could get more money, get rid of my old ass 2016 M5 Beamer and get one of them new i8’s. Be so fly! Shit, damn, damn, damn that Fox News! What do they want? A million more screaming ratass babies running through the hood every year? Here’s news for ya Fox, it ain’t a goddam baby till WE say so! Now get out there and find me a girl that wants to eliminate that problem inside her but make it a RICH girl or better yet, a CELebrity! Imagine that. The star of Disney’s next blockbuster movie splayed on steel table getting treatment in live, living color!” She went on with the hate inspired rant but my source was crying too loud to decipher the rest of the Planned Parenthood’s employees conversation.


Last but not least of the madness came out of the man who wants to be president of the United States, former Pennsylvania senator Rick Santorum. His answer to mass shootings in schools? Learn CPR, don’t march for gun control. Really senator? Imagine:


A nineteen year old extremely disturbed boy who has had dozens of warning calls gone unheeded by the police and the FBI walks into a school with a rifle and starts shooting. The victims, per the Crazy Water influenced brain of Mr. Santorum, should administer CPR while their friends are being attacked. 


“Okay Trey! I’ll give mouth to mouth to the girls, you do the boys. And don’t forget to squeeze!”


“Why do I do the boys? I ain’t like that Sophia. Not even!”


“I said do the….” Thud.


What’s even more frightening is that the “spring water” is making it’s rounds all over the country. There’s not a thing wrong with young people marching on Washington to make demands on the government. Even I, Boo Feeder, partook in such protests against the Vietnam War. Then came The Epiphany.


Unlike the paid protesters of today, we genuinely believed the government was wrong. The war in Indonesia that was taking our friends was for reasons never fully exposed and we told “the establishment” why the killing had to end. Then, sitting on a patch of grass on the mall with the Washington Monument looming in a smoky marijuana haze, the words of a song I’d heard before but never listened to broke the fog. Buffalo Springfield was singing:


I think it’s time we stop, children, what’s that sound
Everybody look what’s going down
There’s battle lines being drawn
Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong
Young people speaking their minds
Getting so much resistance from behind
It’s time we stop, hey, what’s that sound
Everybody look what’s going down
What a field-day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly say, hooray for our side
‘For What It’s Worth’ woke me up and carried me to the recruiters office to join the US Army. Why? Because we weren’t protesting the war as much as we were telling everyone how right we were. It was all about pride and despite the outward appearance of long hair, wire rim glasses, tattered blue jeans and flannel shirts in the DC summer, I was proud of this country and felt damned lucky to live here. 
If only there were a timely tune to awaken some people today. Thirty-nine calls to warn of a dangerous teenager go by with no action taken; police at a school staying outside either by cowardice or by orders while their community is being written into one of the saddest annuls of the ages and yet the NRA and guns are blamed. The news of the student protests were an all day affair by the likes of CNN and MSNBC but when a school shooter is stopped by a hero with a gun just two weeks after Douglas High, the silence was deafening. There was no David Hogg to exemplify the security guard who confronted the teenager in St. Mary’s County. The shooter took his own life when facing the barrel of justice aimed at his head. Despite what the The Post told you, it was a gun that stopped a gun.
Yes folks, Crazy Water is polluting places like Pennsylvania, California, Chicago, New York and everywhere you and I live. It’s time to stop, look what’s going down, put down the signs and say Hooray! for America and the constitution has that held us all together.

Written by boofeeder

March 29, 2018 at 8:22 pm


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Feb. 2, 2018

by Boo Feeder

Persistence pays proves positive. After much finagling and playing games of Tit Tat Do, I was able to get my hands on a memo that went out to all members of the Democrat party on the day of the State Of The Union speech by President Donald Trump. The author was, to no surprise, the one and only Hillary Clinton. The copy as presented below was obtained by an undercover aide to Nancy Pelosi.


To all our friends

 The time is near. We must stand together in our Resist! movement.           Remember these talking points and actions before and after the false president’s speech:

– Must wear black. This will hide bruises and bite marks from rough sex

– Do not clap. We cannot be happy as long as anyone but me, Hillary Clinton, is not the POTUS

– Do not smile. See above.

– Tax cuts are for the rich ONLY. If the peons get a measly thousand dollars, it will be referred to as “crumbs”. Nancy will take the lead on that.

– ALL immigrants are law abiding people and there is no such thing as MS13. Any reference by Trump that there are criminals and gang members coming across the “border”, is a lie. Remember: Deny, deny, deny. That has worked before and will now. D-E-N-Y.

– No matter who is given attention for some lame-ass thing as adopting a crack addict, or some such idiot, you will not look in their direction. If asked you will say nothing. You got that Schumer? Not a word!

– On the Munes memo – our line is “it’s a lie!” Remember to deny, deny, deny. We must stand as one to say the information in that memo is one big fat L-I-E! If they say that the Clinton’s paid Steele for a dossier, you say No! Our Hillary did give money to a guy named Cristof Steel but that was for a catered affair at a party at my home. FYI – I have a chef named Steel who will back that story up. ( I expect sizable donations to my “charity” to cover that cost )

– Nobody knows anyone who goes by “Ohr”. You may know an Orr here and there but not Ohr. What is that kind of name anyway? Sounds mexican to me.

– DO NOT STOP THE RUSSIAN NARRATIVE! Whatever is in that memo is because of Russian collusion. Period!

– Maxine will be point on the Impeach! movement but I expect Nancy and Chuck to back her up. We have CNN, MSNBC, CBS, ABC and of course, NBC, paid up so they will be attacking Trump even harder. My expectation is to have him out and me in by July 4th. Won’t rainbow color fireworks be be-effing-beautiful then!

– Last but not least, we have done well with the Trump is a misogynist, anti-semite, bigot, foul mouth old man who has dementia and a cheater that employed Russia to take the election away from me But! we have to do more. Our next strategy is that DJT is possessed by demons. I have preachers, priests and parapsychologists on board to verify that Trump is  an agent of Lucifer. Yes!

To be clear, the memo is a lie, the Russians and Trump stole my rightful place in history and Trump is the devil! If any of you have a question, me and Huma will be on vacay at our private beach. Nancy has that number.

Be strong! Stand down! and keep on the Resist! and Impeach! non-stop train to My white house!

Much muches,



Much muches? What the heck does that mean? The babble of Hillary Clinton is almost as confusing as Nancy Pelosi’s crunching on her Prozac and Wellbrutin pills during the rousing and well received SOTU speech. Her “crumbs” are crumbling!


Written by boofeeder

February 2, 2018 at 7:13 pm


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by Boo Feeder Jan. 26, 2017

Well my, my, my. Look what has been pulled out of a sewer trap in Washington, DC. A photo taken by Askia Muhammad in 2005 was released that some would say proves Barrack Obama was a devout follower of Louis Farrakhn’s Nation of Islam. That racist, anti semitic cult that wildly supported Obama’s run at the presidency. Obama, per his more savvy handlers, dismissed Farrakhan’s backing and denied any ties to the anti-everyone-but-themselves cult that was formed by a Nazi sympathizer in the 1930’s. While it is being tossed around that Obama and Farrakhan look alike because they are ” brothers “, I have covertly discovered the bonds go far beyond their mutual ideals!

Disguising myself as a caddy at Congressional Country Club, I carried not one but both golf bags for the NOI brothers. The new batteries in my Radio Shack Minisette that was hidden under my TW hat nearly exploded at what was being recorded from hole to tree lined hole in the one percenter golfer’s playground. 

From a bunker some 150 yards from the tee box, Louis Farrakhan ( LF ) said ” Sweet! Last time I hit a little white ball this far was thirty years ago in Miami. It went Poof! Man, that was some good sh.. ( one of the fifteen men with wide frame sunglasses and folded arms jumped in the sand to throw his leader’s ball up on the neatly trimmed grass fairway ) it! “

Barrack Obama ( BO ) said ” Uh, nice out minister! Uh, white balls of cocaine. Those were the days my friend! Now that I’m out of the White-honky House and down in the For Real powerhouse office, maybe we can partake in a little “snowball” fight! Uh, whaddya say brother? ” BO’s fifth shot at the green of the short par four hole bounced on then off the green. To that he hollered to a NOI lookout ” Ah, Mo, how about tossing that ball, ah, up there on the, ah, flat-ass piece of ground. Yeah, Mo, the green. That’s it. Shit! In the hole! Take that Trump! I got the Real shithole here!” He told me to mark him down for a “four”. I did as ordered then picked up LF’s ball that was not yet on the green after twelve tries. He demanded a “bogey five” and I gladly obliged. Far be it from me to go against him and an army of Nation of Islam soldiers.”

The next few holes went on as expected. BO and LF shaving, no, hacking several strokes off their scores. They laughed and joked about old times and the new world they were building on the ” DL “, as they put it. Naturally I thought they meant ” Down Low ” but learned on the ninth hole it was ” Dictatorship Luxury “, or something crazy nefarious like that.

It was at the fifteenth short par five that all hell broke loose. BO and LF were resting on the tee box bench while I was cleaning their muddy balls. Their conversation went from loud and boisterous to whispery sneaky. I crouched down and snuck up behind them to eavesdrop the most remarkable thing never imagined. Dirty balls be damned!

LF – ” You see what that rat bastard photographer sent to the Times? Don’t worry, son. Our men will take care of him. Not yet but soon, son, real soon. “

BO – ” Ah, minister, you are on the ball. So sharp for an old man! Just kidding dad. What gets me is how those, ah, assholes on Fox News think we look so much alike that we are brothers. Stupid Shepp fell for that one of course but when I heard that emmeffing Hannity rant on about us being sibfreakinglings, I bout spit my chickpeas in Chelle’s face! “

LF – ” You know, for a white boy, that George Soros ain’t so dumb. He put out the word that anyone that put me and you together during your reign would be fish bait. Oh, a couple tried but who listens to Anyway Hannity? Not enough to matter. Anyway! You sure that boy ain’t a Jew? Sure looks like one! “

BO –  ” Nope. Don’t think so. Anyway! Don’t much matter though. At least not one white cracker has figured out that you are my ( are you sitting down, my dear readers? ) father! Oh yeah dad, George got everyone to believe that some joke-ass emmeffer in Kenya was my daddy! And they all fell for it. Even this golden haired bastard that stole the election from our girl fell for it. Believed that phony ass birth certificate you had made! “

Wait. What? Daddy Louis Farrakhan? Oh my Gawwwwwd! Say it ain’t so Joe! But, after listening to father and son ramble on about how stupid white people are, how far down their plan will take that Fox Honky-ass News, who would lead the roundup of Jews and argue over who is going to shave Trump’s fake hair and how great their United Islam States will be, I jumped up behind them and screamed ” NOOOOoooo! Not to MY United States you won’t! “

Their golf balls both had photo impressions of themselves and I was glad to throw them into the drink as I ran past the lake on my way to safety. The NOI soldiers were chasing but their too-dark-to-see-shit sunglasses had them running into each other. The Keystone Kops had nothing on those characters and I would have loved to watch the show a while longer, but, the black helicopters were getting close so I bolted for River Road.

A running black man going down one of the richest roads in America is could have dire consequences even if it is the home of the alt-left. I jumped in a cold creek to wash the black paint off then things got interesting. As if!

Apparently the black latex paint I covered myself with to be DeAndre the Caddy is not water based. Scrubbing with the pebbles from the creek opened my sensitive Caucasian crust to let blood drip from my face to my arms and below. I dipped and scrunched my way all the way to southeast DC where I blended in with the crowd. My wife, who chooses to NEVER be identified, came to pick me up at the corner of 28th and Q but when she saw the condition I was in, she kept on going. If you see *****, please tell her I’m at 27th and Pennsylvania Avenue. The bail is only one hundred dollars but I lost my wallet in that bloody brook in Bethesda.



Written by boofeeder

January 27, 2018 at 4:06 am


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In what will inevitably become known as “Agentgate”, our Boo Feeder has found the missing five months of text messages that are in addition to the known 50,000 texts between FBI agents Peter Strzok and Lisa Page. The agents have been carrying on behind their spouses backs for years meeting in pay-by-the-hour seedy motels. It was in the trash container at the Muhammad Motel in Montgomery County Maryland that Feeder found the facts filed in the following feport, er, report:

Found in a filthy trash can were ten pounds of shredded papers from the two dishonest, cheating Federal agents at the top of the news. That is on the Fox News’ headlines, all other so-called “news” media have taken orders from above to not report anything counter to their “Resist!” narrative. The slivers of papers were inserted into my own invention, the Document Togetherer Machine. In a matter of minutes a 30 gallon bag of 1/8″ by 10″ snipped paper puzzle pieces were meshed together and arranged in numerical order. FYI – my life was threatened with unspeakable tortures by the likes of a couple well known document shredder makers when I applied for a patent. I value my appendages too much to ever try that again!

The more salacious language has been edited. Sorry!

Page 1:

” My lover Lisa, miss you! Had another boring-ass meeting on Ethics with Lynch. The same old Keep It On The DL crap. As if! 2:15. Can’t wait to get my **** in your ***!”

“Love you(r) Peter! I’ll be waiting. Saw HRC today. Called her “Boss”. She kissed me! I’ll never wash my *** again! JK!”

The first one hundred plus pages were similar. Complicity with their bosses to undermine then candidate Trump and the porno banter was gagging that dangly thing in the back of my throat. To spare you, my beloved readers, that torture, I will continue with snippets from here and there over the next two thousand pages.

PS – ” Holy shitholes!I got this FAiP (Federal Agent iPhone) out of the wife’s hands just in time!Remind me to change the passcodes, Funny Face. Talked to Hold’em Holder. He is down with HRC’s plan. Said GS has no worries.”

LP – ” What I said Petey!Can’t use the same code just cuz you cant remember. I’ll keep them for you. I have a secret hiding place just for you. Not to worry. I don’t let the husband in my ***! Soros says to keep pushing the Russia plan. We got all but that goddam Fox on board. HRC’s idea to take out O’Reilly and Bolling was Classic Clinton! Sex sells baby! “

PS – ” Comey is such a ****head. We told him to keep HRC out of it but he rants on about how crooked she is then says Not! Dumb***. GS is taking care of him as only he and the Clinton’s can. Lead boots anyone?! ***hole. Hills says to stay with the Russia thing.”

LP – ” From the top. ****ing Trump goes down, Pence goes in. We got some hobags to say Pence done to them what you do to me and voila! The real winner goes in. Once she’s prez, all this other shit goes away. It’ll be better than the Holder years! We could even get together at the Marriott instead of this ****hole Muhammad Motel.Get here quick! I need a ***** shampoo!”

PS – ” You see what that Groundy said? He’s going to open an investigation on us, you and me! What a blowhard. Speaking of which!”

LP – ” It’s Gowdy and I’m scared for real. Husband took Hillary’s dough THEN says he’s leaving me anyway. Oh Sh*t. We got to get GS to take care of TG and his big*** mouth. And Joe. Him first! The Resist! thing is taking too long Pete. Schumer says to keep it up and GS is kicking in more money to the media but, damn it!, we need to step it up. Saw Joyce saying the FISA scam is going to be exposed soon. We need to get outa Dodge. NOW! Use your passport #13, I’ll use #72 and we’ll settle down in Cuba. Palm trees, rum, beaches and be treated as the royalty we are for the rest of time. Oh Peter, my Peter, your *****!”

PS – ” Who are you? Lisa Page? Never heard of you. Stop writing to me whoever, whatever you are! I am a dedicated federal employee goddammit. If you don’t stop texting me I’ll tell Mueller and you Will be sorry, whoever you are.”

By some persistent investigation, I learned that Poor Pete was now Done Peter. Seems his wife found Strzok’s FAiP in a pistol holster hung in their walk-in closet. She read what her “devoted” husband was writing to that ***** at the FBI then turned it over to Jeff Sessions hoping beyond hope that JS is honest enough to show the real collusion to the people that paid for it. Us, you and me.

Wee shall see.



Written by boofeeder

January 23, 2018 at 6:33 pm


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Our roving reporter, Boo Feeder, was able to communicate with a fly that was nibbling on a cheese danish in Nancy Pelosi’s office while she was on the phone with Chuck Schumer. Here is the tantalizing tale:

” No! dammit Chuck I told you not to talk to that gold bastard! How are we going to pull off putting the blame on the republicans if you go flapping your trap with ANYone on the other side? I have memo’s out to all our people at CNN, MSNBC and the networks to say it’s Trump’s fault if children die because of our shutdown. They are all in compliance if you just keep your hefty ass quiet. Got it? “

Fly flew to the window to feign indifference to what he was hearing. His wife, who is a bit slight of hearing, landed on the back of Pelosi’s chair. Lucky for her Pelosi hadn’t noticed either flying insect or the ones gnawing on scraps in her overflowing trash can. Yet.

Pelosi leaned back in her chair answering Schumer’s reponse ” I don’t effing care what I said before! And I don’t give a fly’s fart what that Mulvaney said. It’s all the same, children will effing Dee Eye Eee! That’s our talking point Chucky, stick the eff to it! What? Yes dammit I know what you said. I know what Burnout Sanders said. And I KNOW what Hillary says to do, Re-effing-sist! You got that babe? Resist is all we got. It’s our theme, it’s our time, it’s what we eat for breakfast, lunch and. Dinner? Oh, I don’t know. Yes, I know that sonofabi…” Swat! She squished fly’s beloved wife with one slap at the back of her head. ” Chucky? You hear me Chuck? Watch out for flies! Them dirty SOB’s are wired Chuck! They coming after me. All five hundred of them are in here recording this. Before you know it our little chat will be on Fox-ass News! Chelsie Walters will be telling. What? Yeah, Jesse Watters, whatever. That chump, Chuck! He loves sending in his little fly friends to listen to. NO! Really! I’m not joking. He is lord of the flies. I’m serious! Chuck? Chuck? Bastard hung up on me. Chuck? “

Fly uploaded the recording on Boo Feeder’s iPhone then flew off to what he said would be the most lovely suicide mission in the life of any musca domestica to date. He went directly into the wide open mouth of Nancy Pelosi as she was on her next call to Rachel Maddow. Just before going down the pipes, fly let loose the loudest fart he could muster. Meanwhile, Chuck Schumer was calling Dr. Ronny Johnson to give Ms. Peolosi one of those Chinese? Canadian? whatever, sanity tests.

Written by boofeeder

January 19, 2018 at 7:01 pm