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A SHORT SUMMATION ON ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION with quotes

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A Short Summation On Immigration

by Boo Feeder

Feb. 7, 2018

Extensive, exhaustive research has proven that quotes by Donald Trump are anti-immigrant, bigoted rants by a lunatic. Here are just a few of hundreds on record:

  1. When it comes to immigration, I have actually put more money, under my administration, into border security than any other administration previously. We’ve got more security resources at the border – more National Guard, more border guards, you name it – than the previous administration. So we’ve ramped up significantly the issue of border security.

  2. We actually want well-educated kids in our country who are able to succeed and become part of this economy and part of the American dream.

  3. Number one, it is important that we fix the legal immigration system, because right now we’ve got a backlog that means years for people to apply legally.

  4. We need immigration reform that will secure our borders, and punish employers who exploit immigrant labor.

  5. I am, you know, adamantly against illegal immigration.

  6. We will make sure the border is secure

  7. Our borders are much too porous

  8. There is no guarantee that employer sanctions will work or that amnesty will work.

The audacity of that man! How did such an ignorant imbecile weasel his way into the White House? It’s enough to make you …… what? Oh snap! Mine eyes have seen the faults of restless insomnia! I apologize SO deeply, my dear followers.

Those quotes were not by Trump but by the same people that are saying the exact opposite today. Hypocrisy  may be hard to spell but it is definitely not hard to find on the left side of these here United States of America. The first four quotes were by Barrack Obama, number five was by Hillary Clinton and the last three by Chucky Schumer. There were too many impossible-to-understand wishy washy quotes by Nancy Pelosi to include. After all, by her count there are 500 million Americans per month losing their jobs over illegal immigration!

 

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Written by boofeeder

February 7, 2018 at 9:20 pm

BREAKING NEWS – DEMOCRATS MEMO IS RELEASED – READ IT HERE

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Feb. 2, 2018

by Boo Feeder

Persistence pays proves positive. After much finagling and playing games of Tit Tat Do, I was able to get my hands on a memo that went out to all members of the Democrat party on the day of the State Of The Union speech by President Donald Trump. The author was, to no surprise, the one and only Hillary Clinton. The copy as presented below was obtained by an undercover aide to Nancy Pelosi.

1/31/2018

To all our friends

 The time is near. We must stand together in our Resist! movement.           Remember these talking points and actions before and after the false president’s speech:

– Must wear black. This will hide bruises and bite marks from rough sex

– Do not clap. We cannot be happy as long as anyone but me, Hillary Clinton, is not the POTUS

– Do not smile. See above.

– Tax cuts are for the rich ONLY. If the peons get a measly thousand dollars, it will be referred to as “crumbs”. Nancy will take the lead on that.

– ALL immigrants are law abiding people and there is no such thing as MS13. Any reference by Trump that there are criminals and gang members coming across the “border”, is a lie. Remember: Deny, deny, deny. That has worked before and will now. D-E-N-Y.

– No matter who is given attention for some lame-ass thing as adopting a crack addict, or some such idiot, you will not look in their direction. If asked you will say nothing. You got that Schumer? Not a word!

– On the Munes memo – our line is “it’s a lie!” Remember to deny, deny, deny. We must stand as one to say the information in that memo is one big fat L-I-E! If they say that the Clinton’s paid Steele for a dossier, you say No! Our Hillary did give money to a guy named Cristof Steel but that was for a catered affair at a party at my home. FYI – I have a chef named Steel who will back that story up. ( I expect sizable donations to my “charity” to cover that cost )

– Nobody knows anyone who goes by “Ohr”. You may know an Orr here and there but not Ohr. What is that kind of name anyway? Sounds mexican to me.

– DO NOT STOP THE RUSSIAN NARRATIVE! Whatever is in that memo is because of Russian collusion. Period!

– Maxine will be point on the Impeach! movement but I expect Nancy and Chuck to back her up. We have CNN, MSNBC, CBS, ABC and of course, NBC, paid up so they will be attacking Trump even harder. My expectation is to have him out and me in by July 4th. Won’t rainbow color fireworks be be-effing-beautiful then!

– Last but not least, we have done well with the Trump is a misogynist, anti-semite, bigot, foul mouth old man who has dementia and a cheater that employed Russia to take the election away from me But! we have to do more. Our next strategy is that DJT is possessed by demons. I have preachers, priests and parapsychologists on board to verify that Trump is  an agent of Lucifer. Yes!

To be clear, the memo is a lie, the Russians and Trump stole my rightful place in history and Trump is the devil! If any of you have a question, me and Huma will be on vacay at our private beach. Nancy has that number.

Be strong! Stand down! and keep on the Resist! and Impeach! non-stop train to My white house!

Much muches,

HRC

 

Much muches? What the heck does that mean? The babble of Hillary Clinton is almost as confusing as Nancy Pelosi’s crunching on her Prozac and Wellbrutin pills during the rousing and well received SOTU speech. Her “crumbs” are crumbling!

 

Written by boofeeder

February 2, 2018 at 7:13 pm

NANCY PELOSI SAYS A GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN WILL KILL CHILDREN – THEN VOTES TO SHUT DOWN THE GOVERNMENT!

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Our roving reporter, Boo Feeder, was able to communicate with a fly that was nibbling on a cheese danish in Nancy Pelosi’s office while she was on the phone with Chuck Schumer. Here is the tantalizing tale:

” No! dammit Chuck I told you not to talk to that gold bastard! How are we going to pull off putting the blame on the republicans if you go flapping your trap with ANYone on the other side? I have memo’s out to all our people at CNN, MSNBC and the networks to say it’s Trump’s fault if children die because of our shutdown. They are all in compliance if you just keep your hefty ass quiet. Got it? “

Fly flew to the window to feign indifference to what he was hearing. His wife, who is a bit slight of hearing, landed on the back of Pelosi’s chair. Lucky for her Pelosi hadn’t noticed either flying insect or the ones gnawing on scraps in her overflowing trash can. Yet.

Pelosi leaned back in her chair answering Schumer’s reponse ” I don’t effing care what I said before! And I don’t give a fly’s fart what that Mulvaney said. It’s all the same, children will effing Dee Eye Eee! That’s our talking point Chucky, stick the eff to it! What? Yes dammit I know what you said. I know what Burnout Sanders said. And I KNOW what Hillary says to do, Re-effing-sist! You got that babe? Resist is all we got. It’s our theme, it’s our time, it’s what we eat for breakfast, lunch and. Dinner? Oh, I don’t know. Yes, I know that sonofabi…” Swat! She squished fly’s beloved wife with one slap at the back of her head. ” Chucky? You hear me Chuck? Watch out for flies! Them dirty SOB’s are wired Chuck! They coming after me. All five hundred of them are in here recording this. Before you know it our little chat will be on Fox-ass News! Chelsie Walters will be telling. What? Yeah, Jesse Watters, whatever. That chump, Chuck! He loves sending in his little fly friends to listen to. NO! Really! I’m not joking. He is lord of the flies. I’m serious! Chuck? Chuck? Bastard hung up on me. Chuck? “

Fly uploaded the recording on Boo Feeder’s iPhone then flew off to what he said would be the most lovely suicide mission in the life of any musca domestica to date. He went directly into the wide open mouth of Nancy Pelosi as she was on her next call to Rachel Maddow. Just before going down the pipes, fly let loose the loudest fart he could muster. Meanwhile, Chuck Schumer was calling Dr. Ronny Johnson to give Ms. Peolosi one of those Chinese? Canadian? whatever, sanity tests.

Written by boofeeder

January 19, 2018 at 7:01 pm

MSNBC’S RACHEL MADDOW SAYS TRUMP’S MEDICAL REPORT IS A LIE! SHE HAS PROOF – SAYS RESIST, RESIST!!

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Donald Trump

In an undocumented, undisclosed, unverified underground urban secluded speakeasy that serves only special celebrities, Boo Feeder posed as a barperson, drink deliverer and copped a conversation with the one and only, the self declared magnificent momma Rachel Maddow. It only took six screwdrivers to loosen her lips and what spilled out was as salacious as a slippery snake!

“That phony ass doctor Jackoff! What an idiot! Canadian Cognitive Test ,my lily white ass! What the hell do Canadians know about being sane? Really? They play that white man’s, racist-ass hockey twenty four seven! And they make up some stupid-ass exam? All they know about are hockey sticks, pucks and cold-ass ice! Now you tell me they’re smart enough to make up a test then claim that Donald-ass Trump-ass is SANE! Why they…” At that point Mz. Maddow snipped the rant and ordered one more for the road. ” Set ’em up buttercup! ” She said while wagging her finger at my cohort, a busty blond that was quick to tell me she was happily married to her wife of four months and fifteen days. Brenda was excited that this marriage has outlasted her first by two months and twelve days. Hooray!

I interrupted the pairs of fixated eyes to ask Maddow why she didn’t believe Dr. Jackson. ” His credentials are unquestioned and he is no doubt apolitical so why, oh why would you think he lied about the president’s health? You do know that Trump has never smoked or had a drink of liquor, right? Might that not be a prime example for healthy living Miss Maddow?

” Listen up barkeep! I know crazy and that gold headed, woman hating, racist bastard is CRAZYYYYY! ” With that, the MSNBC personality stood on the barstool and waved her Superman glasses in circles above her crew cut and screamed in her most demonic, domineering voice ” Re-effing-sist people! Resistttttt! Dr. Jackemoff was paid by Not Hot Kelley-ass Ann-bitch! I got proof peoples! I got the goods on that wanna-be hot -scagbag Con-ass-way! I, I, I, I, I, I know the effing truth! Me! Me! Me! “

Rachel Maddow spun herself so hard that she screwed herself. Into the floor. ( That was me, Boo-ass Feeder, poking a little jab at the  insolent woman spinning on the tiles ). She stood up, ran her fingers through her hair then wiped a black goo on my chest and cried out again ” Me! Me! I was to be Chief of Staff in Hillary’s rainbow house. Me! And that rat bastard, homophobe Trump stole the election from my main-ass squeeze! Dump, dump, dump, Trump! “

What? Main squeeze? HC and RM? Now that makes sense! Maddow leads the resist! maniacs only to fulfill her dream of being a Chief of Staff for the country’s first female president. The self indulgence is of no surprise, sadly. I turned to ask her to expound on the “main squeeze” remark but she was gone. Apparently Brenda and Rachel went out the back door for some midnight delight.

I talked to Brenda a few days later. Sadly, she left her wife to be with Maddow but the “bespectacled beeatch”, as she put it, brushed her off like a bug in the night. Poor Brenda has taken a job at minimum wage where I found her, a cashier at Wally World where I was buying acetone to remove the black shoe polish stains on my once-favorite white Polo shirt.

 

 

 

 

Written by boofeeder

January 18, 2018 at 4:21 am

OPRAH WINFREY ANNOUNCES RUN FOR PRESIDENT IN NEAR NORTH SIDE CHICAGO!

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After Boo Feeder watched Michael Wolff being led off in handcuffs by the the NYPD, he took the Greyhound bus to Chicago to verify what was slithering on the grapevine. Amazingly, he found Oprah Winfrey near a Near North Side bakery. She had on a wool knit cap topped with a red, black and green fluorescent ball and matching wrap-around sunglasses. Her pantsuit was made of an “Equality, Empathy, Election!” banner that barely covered her Neiman Marcus boots. It was a strange attempt at incognito but it worked for her. Customers at the glass counters gave the spectacle a quick glance then went about ordering their croissants, injera, mandazi and creamy donuts. Only Boo Feeder watched the mega mogul squeeze past the cashier to enter the back room. This is where our fearless fanatic fact finder filed the following:

 The cashier was quick to grab my last twenty to let me in the private tables beyond the steel doors. I introduced myself to the one and only Oprah Oh-My-God Winfrey and almost lost my Balfour Cream donut when she invited me to a sit down.

Getting down to the interview before she tossed me out of the purple draped room, I asked her if her friends at the Golden Globes were on to something big. “Miss Winfrey, are you tossing your, uh, cap into the ring for the 2020 election?”

“Oh you do have your nerve Mr. Feeble! My speech was meant to empower the little people, to give hope to women all over the world, to get the party of rich, old white men a kick in the pants, so to speak. It’s time for a WOMAN to shine something more than the silver candlesticks in the Oval Office!”

I could barely hold my tongue at the thought of Monica Lewinsky shining something entirely different in that once sacred room. With bitten lips, I asked her again if she was going to run for president.

” Hell to the hell yeah!” She said in her best southern drawl. Back to her Baltimore accent where she first cut her teeth in national recognition, she added “Years ago, I watched a gold ring zwirl down a porzlain zinc in Roland Park, I said to myzelf  Oprah, you will never go down a zinc hon!” Switching to her Chicago speak she finished “Dhere you go Bah! I am gang to do baddle wit Trump in 2020!” Back to southern she said ” And there you go you old white cracker! I AM, I WILL, be Madam Mister President of this heah US of effing A in two short yeahs!” With that she dipped two mandazi’s in a luscious looking cream sauce and stuffed them in her eager mouth.

“Madam? Mister?, what does that mean and who will be your partner?  First Lady Gayle or First Husband Stedman?” Knowing I was crossing a line, I stood up expecting the rumored violent tendencies to let loose, a secret that Oprah has well preserved all these years.

Her reaction was as expected. A fork, spoon and butter knife, in that order, came spinning my way with “Take that you Woodward wannabe! Who I choose to carry my Brunello Cuncinelli luggage into the soon to be EX white house is none of your concern. That building that was built off the sweat of BLACK slaves will be repainted and renamed the RAINBOW HOUSE! Take THAT Bob-ass Feeble-ass White-ass BOY!”

The spoon, believe it or not, was the most painful implement of terror to remove. The fork and knife slid out of my chest quite easily albeit a bloody circus, the pain did not arrive until much later. The spoon that lodged its concaved end into my eye socket hurt like the hell it was thrown with. I covered myself with the rainbow tablecloth to make my final observation. “Miss Winfield” turning the name game back on her, “don’t you think you are setting a bad example to men, girls and women by not marrying this Steedleman guy? I mean you are either engaging in premarital intimacy or a decades long fear of commitment. How can the American people believe you will commit to Their concerns unless, that is, if it is Gayla Girl that you are sharing your bedroom with. In that case it’s a years long lie that you have protected by throwing utensils and God knows what. This is not the first time that”

Despite the bobbing and weaving while spitting out those last few lines, and a lot of blood, she was able to fill my mouth with her silver dish. Sideways yet, to use the vernacular of my Pennsylvania adopted dialect where “yet” is put at the end of every statement yet.

A rather obese man came in to the horror of knives. forks, spoons, dishes, tablecloths and, of course, my blood staining them all. He said “Miss Oprah! Not again! Please mister, don’t you DARE say a word” He took a handful of bills from Oprah Winfrey to buy my silence. I’d like to say that there was no amount to keep this secret but I’m not that noble, sorry. Besides, the twenty dollar bill that got me past the gates of hell was the last of my money. To maintain a sliver of self respect I’ve withheld about half of the shenanigans except for this one additional small tidbit: When the baker offered her a box the size of refrigerator, Oprah hollered ” I LOVE BREAD!” Yet.

Written by boofeeder

January 9, 2018 at 7:30 pm

Hillary Clinton’s New Year’s Resolution List Found Amongst The Ashes!

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Boo Feeder spent a few hours in Chappaqua New York shortly after the report of a fire on the Clinton’s compound. Disguised as a Secret Service agent with a coiled wire sticking in his ear, Feeder rummaged through the rubble looking for …. well anything he could find of importance. Amidst the charcoaled laptops, computers and bleached out mother boards, Boo found a crumpled piece of GoldenStore stationary. At $14,000 for one sheet of paper the opulence was stifling considered it was her “charity” that most probably paid for it in 100’s of reams at a time. How the paper escaped the fire was almost as much a mystery as what she had jotted down on it.

Without further ado, this is what our fearless inmate at Westchester County jail managed to slip by the correction’s officer in our first, and last, visit to him. FYI – if you’re thinking about putting a coiled plastic coated wire in your ear to be a federal agent snooping the site of a former president, Do Not Do It! It’s a Really Bad idea! Your help with bail money would be greatly appreciated.

What the hell I’m going to do in 2018!

  • Get a new iPhone, give Humma my old one after its wiped with our beach towel
  • Lose 200 pounds
  • Ask George to fund the impeach orange ass campaign
  • Make Humma Humma learn mexicano languish
  • Tell Nancy to put me in the WH or I’ll tell MSNBC all about her and Chucky baby
  • Lose another 200 lbs
  • If Nancy dont do what I command, tell Humma baby to get the ball rolling
  • Shut down Vanity Ass Fair and SNL if they don’t get their shit together
  • Get it together! Humma Humma Humma HumA!!!
  • Poll for first lesbian couple in the white house. If neg, tell Huma to find me another fake ass husband or make up another rant on how womens are being dissed.
  • Go to Michigan this time!
  • Lose 200 pounds or whatever that Bookie guy weighs – hey that’s 3 B’s going down! Bingo baby!

The remaining shreds of the paper had three X’d out B’s, for whatever that means. Bill, Bernie and Booker??? One can only guess how the mind of a madman woman works. 

While you’re pondering that, I’m going back to Westchester County jail to check on our friend. Poor Boo does not look good in orange!

Written by boofeeder

January 5, 2018 at 1:34 am

AN INTERVIEW WITH THE WASHINGTON POST ON JUDGE ROY MOORE

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Our fearless reporter, Boo Feeder, found himself in the belly of the beast this morning on a hunch that The Washington Post was at it again. Boo knows the smell of a rat and that stench was about to knock him over when the door opened to the men’s room. It wasn’t lingering gas from the bowels of the newspaper that violated Feeder’s olfactory, it was the presence of the company itself squeezing its way into the tiled and teak rest room then ran into stall number thirteen. Boo took advantage of the situation to ask The Post some questions about its’ most recent slanderous goings on.

” Post? Can you tell me the source of your claims again Judge Roy Moore? How did you confirm those four decades old allegations?”

“Times? That you?” Came the bellowing voice of Post from the stall reserved for the handicapped. “Times, you SOB! Come in here asking stupid-ass questions like that. Confirm schmofirm! You’re just pissed that we got the scoop. Go back to southeast where you come from, loser!” With that a loud RiiiiiiiiP! belched out followed by a funk from the pits of hell.

Holding my nostrils tight together, I replied “No. This is not The Washington Times. I am Boo Feeder and I was just wondering how you were able to verify the stories you printed alleging Judge Roy Moore had relations with underage girls nearly forty years ago. You certainly double and triple checked facts. I’m wondering how you were able to do that when there were no police reports found to back up the stories.”

“Rachel? That you girl? Oh, sheeee-it no! You that Boo Feeder freefrickinlancer with the cat? Yeah! I know you. Dang, I thought you was a guy! Hey! That thing you wrote on Donna Brazile was damn good. Funny shit that!” This was followed by another Riiiiiiiippppppppp!

Oh good Lord, what am I doing here? To exit the sewage pit, I got right to the point. ” I am most definitely a guy, Post.  Holding my nose shut makes  me sound like Rachel Mad…” Why waste time with that? I continued with “you claimed that Judge Moore had inappropriate relations with four girls thirty eight years ago. I personally checked on those accusers and, to no surprise, one was a former employee of Hillary Clinton and the others have an unquestioned loyalty to the Democrat party. To further muddy their reputations, all four of their finances have improved drastically in the past couple months. New cars, new homes, vacations to Hawaii. It’s as if they all hit the lottery! And in a way, they did, didn’t they Post? Before you answer, I remember a story by your own Bob Woodward that laid claim that local contractors were all colluding to raise bids and to keep outsiders away. When it was learned that the Post was basing the story on one very incompetent man who was mad because he felt entitled to get the work without bidding, the Post never retracted. Nope. The Post led a grand jury on a fairy dust trail until time took away the public’s interest and millions of their dollars. That’s just one example of how the Post has printed fake news to fit their agenda. There are plenty more, dear Post!”

“Big freaking deal! So what? You know how many papers we sell when we make up the news? And advertising! General Electric, Starbucks, Democrat candidates and the list goes on! When a blockbuster headline comes knocking on the door, why lose time verifying it? You just don’t get it do you Feeler? That’s why you’ll never be a”  then a roll of toilet paper came unraveling under the stall’s door. ” Hey Rachel! Kick that back in here, will ya? Come on girl! I got to clean up this mess on me! Damn! GET WITH IT BITCH! The paper, the paper. NOW!”

“Post, why don’t you use your newspaper? There’s no difference between used toilet paper and The Post. Besides, think of all the ads you can print on your filthy ass? I’m sure Northam, Schumer, Pelosi, Clintons and Soros will be happy to cover you with dollar bills to clean up with!” I said with a sarcasm not to be proud of.

Post came storming out of stall bare assed and stinking to low hells. Grabbing for the toilet paper that I “accidentally” kicked out into the hallway, Post fell down and rolled into a throng of onlookers. They gasped in horror as their beloved media giant laid naked in its own waste. One gray haired man said “Oh boy. The old SOB might be down for the count.”

One can only hope.

Written by boofeeder

November 11, 2017 at 3:37 pm