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INTERVIEW WITH NANCY PELOSI AND HILLARY CLINTON ON GUN REGULATION

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hillpol

By a stroke of luck, fate, happenstance or whatever you want to call such a chance meeting, Boo Feeder found himself stuck in an elevator with Nancy Pelosi and 2016 losing presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton. Their conversation was, well, read the transcript for yourself:

Warning! Contains offensive, vulgar language.

” Mrs. Pelosi? Mrs. Clinton? What a surprise to find both of you here at the Trump International Hotel! ” I said while boarding the Executive Elevator on the third floor. Unbeknownst to the women, I reached around my back to press the Stop button. Penthouse suite be damned! There were too many questions to ask in just six floors.

” Who the hell are you? ” They said in unison. Then Hillary said ” Oh holy freaking shit. It’s that lowbrow what’s-his-name, Boob Feeler. Hey! What the fuck? Why are we stuck in this piece of shit box? ” Then, again together, they screamed ” I love your box! “. Obviously the ladies had one or eighteen too many at the bar. This will be fun!

” Ladies. it is rumored that you are pooling resources to revise the second amendment. True? False? ” I asked with my back to the button panel.

Pelosi began with ” Revise my hairy, wet ass! That amendment is going DOWN! Who needs guns anyway? Boob Feeler! Love that name. You want to, you know….”

” Boo Feeder ma’am and no, I don’t want to feel you up. Thanks but no thanks. So, you mean to take guns away from all citizens? Everyone, Mrs. Pelosi? ”

Hillary Clinton piped in ” Goddam right Goof Baller! Nobody should have a gun. NOBODY! If there were no guns there would be no goddam gun fucking violence ASSHOLE! ” Then she turned to Mrs. Pelosi who was sucking her fingers and said to her ” Nan baby, it’s going to be okay. We’ll get in our suite and I’ll make everything fine, honey.”

I tried to ask them if they planned on outlawing knives, cars, hammers, tire irons and the like. Not to mention the scalpels of abortion doctors who kill over 200 babies a day but, without warning, the women attacked me with, you guessed it, guns! Both pulled 9mm Glocks out of their purses demanding I get them out of this box so they could get into boxes they both loved and pined for.

Funny thing was, when I let go of the Stop button, the women didn’t get out on the ninth floor. They inserted an Executive Pass key and, hand on hand, pushed the CT button. Now, what do you think they wanted to do in the Clock Tower in DC? This could be bad. Real bad.

Lucky for us all, their visit to the clock tower was not for nefarious means. They just wanted some ” alone time ” as Mrs. Pelosi told me later when I saw her and Mrs. Clinton at the bar sipping out of a bottle of  Drambuie with interlaced wet hands squeezing together tightly. Each had one hand on the bottle on the table and one hand on their pistol under the table. The mystery of why the clock bells struck seventeen times at the stroke of one, was solved!

 

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Written by boofeeder

October 6, 2017 at 4:20 pm

What Happened With The Interview With Hillary Clinton

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During an afternoon stroll in the woods near his vacation home in Chappaqua New York, Boo Feeder came upon a figure draped with a black curtain. Fearing for his life and the lives of his family just yards away, Feeder took action to thwart the threat.

” Ah hah! I got you! ” Boo Feeder screamed as he tackled the angel of death to the ground.

” Get off of me you, you, you MAN! ” was heard from inside a black cape that was twisting and turning through a copse of poison ivy. The robe then went flying away to reveal the person, not spirit, inside.

” Hill, Hill, Hillary? Hillary Clinton? What are you doing walking in the woods dressed as the Grim Reaper? By the way, you have poison ivy leaves stuck in your hair “. Feeder said while composing himself to maybe, just maybe tick off a box on his Before-I-Die list and land an interview with the former First Lady. He picked out the poison from Clinton’s hair that was curiously still in perfect shape after the wrestling then asked ” Madam Secretary, would you please give me a few minutes of your time to talk about your book, ‘What Happened’? As a matter of honesty, Feeder then gave up his identity as a freelance reporter.

” Well, well, well. First you accost me then you want to make nice with me? Typical man! ” she said through clenched teeth. ” But, you did get that nasty bush out of my hair so yeah, ask away. This is NOT for public consumption! Whatever we talk about is between me and you only! You got that Beef Eater? “

” It’s Boo Feeder  ma’am. ” He corrected. ” Mrs. Clinton you have my word that this is not for everyone, I’m just curious why you wrote that book and why you feel it necessary to lay blame for your loss ” he lied. Of course he would publish his best “get” of his career. If her bevy of lawyers tried to sue him, he would reiterate Hillary’s husband’s infamous retort of ‘What is, is?’.

” You say it was the Russian’s, James Comey and the misogynistic racists on the right that handed defeat to you as a thief in the night. Do you take any responsibility for letting  Donald Trump beat you like a tired old punching bag in Gold’s Gym? “

” You stupid, stupid wang dangled human piece of ( censored )! That golden haired slob DID NOT BEAT ME! I won the popular vote Boo Jerko! Three freaking million more people wanted ME to turn the White House into a Pink Palace. You got that Freaker? ” Hillary Clinton said while wrapping herself back into the soiled black rag.

” Those three million voters were all in California. Do you believe that one state should speak for the other forty nine? The Electoral College was written to assure the nation that presidential elections were as fair as possible. Do you believe our American system is unfair? Do you want to eliminate the Electoral College? Really? “. Feeder said with a face contorted with disbelief in what he was asking the person that so wanted to be the most powerful person on the planet.

” Electrician College? What a joke! Those damned wire strippers stole my future! I could have been the ruler of the whole ( censored ) world! ME! It was supposed to be ME! I WON but look where I am and where that orange head bastard is. He’s down there in effing Florida making nicey nice with his dirty-ass-immigrant wife and I’m walking in a forest of ugly-ass trees practicing my taraweeh prayers in a dirty black sheet. Jeeze! I HATE that college that isn’t even a college! ” Mrs. Clinton finally had herself wrapped and was about to flip the rest of the cape over her head when she began flailing her hands to her head and ran away screaming like a Banchee ” POISON IVY! Holy shit! Back Fu(censored)ing bastard. You spread poison ivy all over my beautiful face! MEN! OH Allah, or whoever you are down there, strike that MAN off this planet that I, HILLARY DAMN CLINTON, should be the leader of ! “

Stunned beyond words, Boo Feeder submitted this report with no further content. We asked if he wanted to add any afterthoughts to his impromptu interview. All he could say is ” Nah, man. My hands are covered with calamine lotion and I’m a little high from the Prednisone so, no, but thanks anyway “hillary-clinton-laughing.

Written by boofeeder

September 15, 2017 at 4:34 pm

Application To MSNBC For A TV Host Job

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Boofeeder recently applied to MSNBC for the host position vacated by Corrine Brown ( D-Fla) who was to be filling in for Rev. Al Sharpton while he goes on leave for a sex reassignment operation. Whether his or not is not known at this writing. Nevertheless, ex-congresswoman Brown will be away serving time, er … visiting her constituents at Allenwood Federal Prison for the next dozen or so years. The job opportunity comes at a time when Boofeeder would welcome the extra income to support his ailing cat, Boo.

Following is a copy of the application:

Name: Boofeeder

Sex ( if decided ): Male

Age ( you may use a Common Core calculator ): 64 – (12 moons x’s 2 polar bears x’s 3 icebergs ) + 3 fingers = 29 years old.

How many times can you repeat “Russia” in sixty seconds? 179

Which syllable in “impeachment” is emfasized? :  Emphasized? That would be on IM-peach-ment

How many eye rolls can you do when the name “Trump” is menshunnned?  Mentioned? As many as it takes to get the job

Are you able to shout “Trump Loves Putin!” without spitting?  Yes, maybe.

Trump is in Israel now. Give a brief example of how you would begin your report if you were there: Here we are with Trump in Israel which is only 1600 miles from Moscow. That’s less than three hours away from Russia, plenty of time to collude with Putin on how to fix more elections. Russia, Russia, Russia! IMpeach Trump! Russia, Russia. Too damn close to Russia!

Does Miladia Trump speak Russian?  Melania? Of course! ALL Trumps speak Russian. They are Russia’s best friends!

How Much Do You Hate Trump? RUSSSSSSSSIA!!!!!!!

May 22, 2017 Update:

Boofeeder was turned down for the following reasons per an email received this morning that reads in part:

Mr. Ms. or Wz.  Boofeeder, We are happy to inform you that you will not be working for us. You are clearly too enamored with Trump to fill the chair in our esteemed studio. For one, spelling is Not to be korrected. Words cannot be put in a box, they must be free to be themselves whatever that is. Also, 179 times is all you can manage to say Russia in one minute? Our hosts and guests top our minimum requirement of 225 Russias/Minute. Also, we know you are a liar! 2 polar bears times 12 moons? Really? Everyone knows there will be no more polar bears in 12 moons! Study up on Global Warming and speeding up your Russia spewing skills then get back to us. But! Be quick be cause imPEACHment will be sooner than you thing.

So much for that! Looks like Boofeeder will be selling his watch collection to pay the veterinarian.

Written by boofeeder

May 22, 2017 at 3:58 pm

Interview With Hillary Clinton on Donald Trump and Health Care

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Boofeeder has been busily finding the perfect person to best vocalize the Democrats point of view in regards to the new health care bill recently passed by the congress. That bill will be hardly recognizable once the senate manhandles it but that does not stop politicians and pundits alike from getting their mugs in front of the cameras in favor or to show disdain for the bill.  The one person that has recently emerged from her self imposed isolation is Hillary Clinton. She says that she speaks for the whole Party of the People as she now calls the Democrats and agreed to this exclusive interview with our very own fearless reporter, Boo Feeder.

“Mrs. Clinton, thank you so much for this opportunity to talk with you. It is my humble honor to have you tell our audience what you think about the health care bill as passed on May 4, 2017.”

Hillary, as we have been allowed to address her, scanned her eyes at the approaching crowd and said ” Oh Mr. Feeder, the honor is all mine. To clarify my position, I want everyone to know that I will not be running for president in 2018. ”

” You mean 2020 ma’?” Feeder asked with lips pursed as his question was cut short.

Before he could get out the “‘am’, she retorted with ” We’ll see won’t we ” she chuckled then finished “One never knows what will be does one?” Chuckling again.

” Okay. With that said, did you review the bill and what would you have done had you won the election? ”

” I hate Trump” Hillary said with a Cheshire grin.

” Yes, I get that a lot from the left. But, don’t you find it odd that while Obamacare is falling apart with insurers bowing out and deductibles so high that the average American cannot afford to pay anything other than the fines under your former bosses plan? ” Boo had to step back as he was asking that question as Mrs. Clinton’s Maude-like jacket was flapping him in his legs. Whatever metal object in her pocket was jabbing him like a Shun knife on the chopping block.

” I hate Trump ” she said as her eyes closed under pinched brows.

Ignoring the blood soaking through his pants, Boo Feeder continued ” 94 of 99 counties in Iowa are now without health care choices. Millions of families making less than forty thousand dollars a year are required to pay twenty five to thirty five percent of their income before Obama’s health care kicks in. Doesn’t that concern you Mrs. Secretary? ”

” I hate Trump” she echoed.

” Even members in your own party acknowledge that Obamacare needs fixing. Are you against any fixes whatsoever? “. The blood was now filling up his sock.

” I hate Trump ” Hillary Clinton said again in a higher pitched, trembling voice.

” Yes, you hate our American president, Donald Trump. We all know that. You’ve made your hate for Trump, the Russians, James Comey, Fox News and all who differ from your views  very, very clear. What, dare I ask again, would you do different? ” What the hell is in that pocket of yours? is what he wanted to ask.

” I hate Trump “. Hillary Clinton repeated then reached into her pant suit jacket pocket and pulled out a Morning Star with ‘ Trump Slayer ‘ engraved on the shaft and twirled it around Boo’s head.

Boo, now stepped back another fifteen feet, asked ” So you hate Trump, that quite obvious but who, pray tell, do you love? ”

” I love everybody! ” Hillary Clinton screamed over and over while dancing with the medieval weapon as a gymnast manipulating a hula-hoop.

Boo was impressed by her physical agility but dismayed by her steadfast opposition to anything from the right. He wanted to stop the madness spinning and cringing in front of him but knew that would be impossible. After stopping the recording, he limped his paling self to the emergency room. Boo Feeder’s wound required ten stitches but what hurt more was the complete evisceration of  empathy and common sense of the Trump haters who claim to sympathize and love everyone on the planet.

 

Written by boofeeder

May 5, 2017 at 5:19 pm

Hillary Clinton, America’s National Embarrassment Is At It Again!

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Slavery was a great embarrassment to a newly formed nation but not the only country that participated in such horrific treatment of fellow mankind. China, Greece, the Romans, Portugal, India and too many others also participated in slavery. When the Emancipation Proclamation of 1863 freed the slaves the beginnings of new hopes and freedoms dawned and we have done well to keep the chains, both literally and figuratively,  off the ankles of Americans for the past 153 years. The black scar is mostly atoned for. Until now.

As if the perpetual apologizing by our current president wasn’t enough to slip the USA down rungs on the ladder of integrity and promise, we now have a person that was not satisfied with diminishing our stature with her emails that bespoke bribery, dishonesty and criminality to now choose to belittle America with a recount on the election. Anyone that believes it’s Jill Stein initiating this act of desperate rage must also believe that the world is flat. If hacking her email was of some benefit now, it would certainly have an exchange something  like this:

Huma, get that Stein beeatch to count the goddam votes but keep my effing name out of it. You got that? Do it now Huma dear. I’ll take care of you forever just like Ive always promised. Love me, Hill

Then Huma would respond:

Hill sweety, that be done! We got word from George S that his peeps are forwarding six mil to Stein right now. Love you, Hummy

HRC would be happy dancing like Sammy Davis Jr in the movie ‘Tap’:

Hummy U are the bestest! I knew Georgie would come through. He has for all these years with Brack OeffingBama, I knew he would do the same for me. And its all bc of U Hummy. U and Me forever! Theres no way we can be hacked again by “the russians” lol right? I mean we got that bastard that leaked on us before taken care of. Right Hummy?

Quicker than Bill Clinton can get the phone number from a 16 year old girl, Huma responded:

Oh hes taken up residence in the Chesapeake Bay. 70 feet down lol. We got that new security device from oh shit I cant remember that asswipes name. You know the one. We paid him off back there in Guatemala when we went there last month to meet one of Bills “friends”. I met that guy Macafferty? and he hooked me up with this whizbang security thing. Said we could be as private as we want cause nobody’s ever going to see it but you and me. Ain’t that great honey? We can be who and what we are and nobody will know! Love, Huma

After slapping her Cuban maid for missing a spot of dust on a table, Hillary pounded the keys on her laptop so hard that the keys were popping off going here and there.

UMA! YOU DUMBSHIT! That was McAfee who swore to out me and Bill years ago for not buying his freaking security program! And you used him to keep our emails secret now?How freaking dumb are you?For the love of me Miss Dumbo! There isnt a cloth big nuff to wipe this crap off. Wait til Fox gets hold of this. AND THEY WILL! We got to clean this up rightfreakin Now. NO MORE EMAILS!

Humma read this with tears the size of Texas streaming down her cheeks. Then wrote:

But Hill Baby, I was just following orders from Bill. He said this Mac guy was square. Said he got lots of “women” from him and nobody was the wiser. I didn’t Know!Please forgive me honey. I cant live without you My Leader! Remember that?I called you that once and you said ‘and don’t you forget it sweetheart!’ then we made love all night. Remember? You are my leader, my number one, my life! Forgive me??

Hillary spat at the laptop with this:

Who the hell are you? Who is hacking into my emails? Damn Russians! Huma who? Never heard of you! Anyone else reading this know this: I DID NOT WRITE ANYTHING ON THIS EMAIL. I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT WOMAN, HUMA!

MSNBC, CNN, CBS, NBC and ABC all made excuses for the outrageous exchanges. They blamed it on her hard working long days and the travel. Oh the travel! That taxes all of us right? Who can travel to five states in one day with tens of thousands of supporters cheering you on? Well, maybe Donal Trump but he’s not human. Hillary IS human and broke under the pressure like you would.

And that was the last we heard from the leftist media and the last communication from HRC. The media fell under their own weight because their listeners like to rant and rave but they don’t spend money on their sponsors so they left for more a balanced venue. One where customers actually bought their products. “Hill Baby” was last seen under a waterfall with a brunette but the splashing was so rough that the other woman could not be identified. And Bill? He has taken up residence on a Philippine island and refuses to return to the USA.

Ain’t life grand?!

Written by boofeeder

November 29, 2016 at 2:01 am

The Donald Has Trump-ed The GOP, America and the Media!

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The GOP’s elite establishment were so afraid of Donlad Trump going off the rails that they pushed him to sign the equal of a Do Not Compete clause. If Trump wasn’t nominated as the GOP’s candidate for president he promised not to run as a third party candidate. He signed it, no problem. There it is in black and white, the Grand Old Party has bushwhacked The Donald! Not even in a bizzaro world would a circus barker be elected to anything other than maybe mayor of East Haven, Vermont. He’d been had by the best in the business of politics. Put that in your pipe and choke on it Mr. Trumpster!

Ahhh, the best laid plans….and all other pertinent cliché’s have made writing this blog oh too easy. It is Trump who has the last laugh…and all other perti….you get it. He beat them all.

What the GOP establishment didn’t get and likely never will due to a collective ego as expansive as the Milky Way, is that Donald Trump had them hoodwinked. He signed that promissory note to not run as a third party because he IS the third party! He has never been a Republican or a Democrat, he has been and always will be the DMP ( Deal Makers Party ). Trump is possibly the best marketer and self promoter of all time. Strike that. He IS the best!

What we need to question is not whether Trump is a Republican but can he lead the country as a big business rather than as a bureaucracy. It would certainly be nice to have efficiency in big government. One person doing the job as one person rather than twenty people half doing the job of one would be fabulous. A president that knows the value of picking the right person to run a department would be so welcome after the past seven years of accumulating incompetency.

Is Trump the one to build a wall in one half of the country while tearing them down in the other half? Can one person do that will the exigency needed? We’ll soon find out because I, for one, believe that Trump is inevitably the one and only person to compete against Hillary Clinton. This country could not endure another four years of lies, deceit and incompetency.

Written by boofeeder

March 1, 2016 at 3:13 pm