PRESIDENT BIDEN’S PRE-SUPER BOWL INTERVIEW DISCLOSED HERE!

by

Boo Feeder

In a rare moment of shocking serendipity I asked for and got permission to have a sit down interview with Joe Biden, yes, That Joe Biden, the President of the United States. We met on an undisclosed beach with only a dozen or more guys and gals with curly wires stuffed in their ears and bulges under their jackets. In keeping with the agreement made with First Lady Jill Biden, the transcript was not to be published until thirty minutes prior to kick-off of The Big Game. “The Big Game”, however, was implied but not specified. The FLOTUS naturally thought it be the Super Bowl but my idea of the Big Game was the super-duper final finale tournament betwixt my super smart wife and me to be TOD SMITH – Top Dog Scrabble Master In The House. Before we shake the bag, I have the privilege of sharing this conversation with Joe Biden:

BF – Thank you Mister Biden for this opportunity. The first question is regarding the investigation by your DOJ’s special council’s report by Robert Hur that says you are an elderly man with poor memory. What say you?

JB – That’s ridiculous what that Her/Him said. I know exactly when Hunter died! How dare that man/woman/undecided person say I don’t fu**ing remember! It was September 11th, 1901. Son of a bit*h that Her/Him/They/Them is!

BF – Apparently your staff has drilled in your head their belief that there are a multitude of genders. How many genders are there sir?

JB – That’s Foxyass News for you! Drill baby drill! I drilled…uh oh,I’ll get put in the corner for sure.Those them they’s have agenders against me as much as there are crabs in my pants! Every day that Doozy kid saying I’m not the Vice President. He has the biggest agender and that’s not hyperbole!

BF – You are the VP now? Who is the President Mister Biden?

JB – Oh you’re in on it too? Kamala Obama is on top and I like it that way. Crabs!

BF – Yes sir, that some big lobsters alright. Moving on. You had secret documents in flimsy boxes, scattered in your house and offices that you took when you had no authority but are not being charged with a crime. Donald Trump had documents in a locked room secured by Secret Service agents yet you believe he should be charged and put in jail. Is that fair sir?

JB – Listen up Poopeater, I love crabs, oysters and ice cream lobsters. Trump will open the eastern border, start wars in the back yard and raise taxes on poor men,women, trainees, troglodytes and hermaphrodites. He is a disaster and if he ever becomes the head chef at the Burger King in my home town, Mexico City, California, GO Dolphins! Uh oh Poopie, I have a meeting with Golda Meir over there (pointing to a freight ship with Chinese lettering rocking in the waves a mile off shore ).

As Joe Biden started walking into the surf a cavalcade of men and women went screaming after him to get out of the water yelling ” Joe! Joe! Oprah’s calling you! Over here sir, over here! Mister Softee is coming! ” With that, Biden came out of the sea calling out his order for a chocolate peanut butter twist.

Post script: What else can one say after that bizarre banter? The left claims because this deteriorating old man cam ride a bike he is capable of leading the Free World. Six year old children can ride a bike too. Does that make first grade children able to be the POTUS? Oh well,it’s time to get on with The Big Game. Wifey just put down JUKEBOX for a seventy seven opening score. And I have all vowels!

BIG GUY JOE BIDEN TALKS TO HUNTER ABOUT SWEETHEART DEAL GONE SOURSTOMACH

By

Boo Feeder

First off, sorry for the extended absence from bringing truth to a world of spin gone twisted out of control. The namesake of this blog has sadly passed on to the big ball of yarn in the sky. My “left foot” may be gone but the lies and propaganda emitted from the leftist media goes snowballing along. As such, our superdupersecret subminiature spy drone has been launched to listen in on the loquacious lefties who never know when to just shut the heck up. Our first stop was at the nearby Camp David compound and flew our flea-sized drone affectionately called “Teensy” into the presidential cabin where Joe Biden was making a phone call. Here is what we heard:

” Seven two five, ah Brack, what’s my boy’s number? Oh that’s right! He’s dead. What? Hungry? A plate full of ice cream will, ah, ah, oh, Hunter. Three six six six, okay. How do I dial these buttons? What? Push? Oh yeah, yeah, this phone smells delicious! “

A muffled voice in the cabin was followed by a crescendo of footsteps then a pounding like a hammer slaughtering a bent nail. An unidentified voice very similar to that of a former president said out loud ” Joe, Hunter Biden, your son, is on the line. “

” Hunt? You in the bank? I saw you on TV. Nice going sonny boy! You got that done! I saw you on the radio at the movies. Deal done! “

I flew Teensy to an inconspicuous place to listen in on the phone’s receiver. A crooked, cracking voice said ” Deal? No deal dad! That Trump-ass judge tossed out the plea agreement like it was a cherry bomb with a short fuse. Listen Big Guy, you get that goddamned Garland to do what we paid him to do and get Trump locked the eff up then find another judge to take my plea deal. Dad? You hear me? ”

” If you go hunting with ten bullets then you are a dog bone pony soldier! C’mon Beau. My wife, Valerie, now she has hair sweet enough to eat. Who is that little girl in the picture? Can I have her? “

The sound of chairs or tables being tossed like WWE wrestlers in a cage match nearly disabled our spy drone but as it was made by yours truly right here in the good ol’ USA, it survived the barrage to transmit this tirade: ” Dad! Pops! Wake the eff up! This is Hunter, your only effing son and we’re in some deep shit here. We paid out a boatload of dough to the DA’s office, Merrick Freaking Garland, Jay Bratt, that sombitchin Jackass Smith and all my freaking lawyers and what happens? That blonde bee-atch Noreika, that Trumpass appointed judge, sticks the plea deal up my freaking ass! Dad, we got to put that woman away so one of OUR judges gets the case. Dad? You there, man? You hear me? What are you doing? “

Papers shuffling and tap, tap, tapping on the phone preceded ” C’mon Beau! Blonde hair’s my favorite! There’s a black man here. How’d a blackie get on our beach? What? Oh, right. I saw you on the tube. These new shoes hurt my elbows. Bidenomcs! “

” Pop, what the effing hell are you talking about? My ass is in the wringer here and you’re worried about blackies? You’re not at the beach, man. You’re at Camp Freaking David with Barrack and his team of spinners eating high off the hog, drinking Blenders Pride, watching those DVD’s while I’m twisting in the wind. Call Soros and get his people on this NOW! (Off) them ALL! Dad? Joe? Where the hell are you? ”

” Hunter? Ah, you hear me and hear me loud. Your father is laying in a bathtub with his favorite Barbie dolls. It will be a couple days before we can prop him up in front of a cameras. It’s getting harder and harder, as you know. The drugs are not as effective as before so we’ll need to devise a plausible excuse to put and keep The Big Guy in the basement. We’re working on spinning another pandemic or let those fires in Canada get out of control then mandate masks and, of course, mail in ballots in 2024. You sit tight, Hunter, we’re working on plans to have your case slip in to Never Never Land. You sit tight, you hear? “

” Sit tight? Are you (freaking) kidding me? How am I going to get in touch with my Chinese friends? My cohorts in Ukraine? My dealer? Jesus man, this was supposed to be an in and out deal then Trump’s woman screws me raw. I don’t give a (crap) about 2024. Pops influence is down to zero now outside of our media. You and George were supposed to have everyone paid off. You guys were going to put Fox News into the wasteland but no, nothing’s going my way goddamnit! Get me out of this (mess). NOW! “

” Ah, well, ah, yes. We do have a way of disappearing your charges. I’ll have a car sent for you to come on up to my place on the Cape. We’ll get this all taken care of Hunter, no problem. And, ah, while you’re there you can do some paddle boarding in the inlet. There’s a couple ounces of blow for you there. Sound good Hunt man? “

The only response coming from the receiver was the sound of thunder. Not booms from a dark sky but slams from the doors as Hunter must have done when trying to run away from an impending demise in Martha’s Vineyard was not for him. No way. No how.

Stay tuned folks! More clandestine conversations are sure to follow. In the meantime we’ll be drafting a eulogy for …. stay tuned!

AN UNAUTHORIZED CONVERSATION WITH HUNTER BIDEN ABOUT ERIC SCHWERIN’S VISITS WITH JOE BIDEN

April 28,2022

by Boofeeder Press

Our very own Boo Feeder has done it again. He managed a stealthy, recorded conversation with Hunter Biden when he ran into him at a Best Buy in Bethesda, Md. Here is a transcript of that unusual, nay, bizarre, chance meeting:

BF – Hunter? Hunter Biden? What’s that? A new Apple laptop? Nice!

HB – What? Oh this? Yeah, my guy said to get a basket of apples but c’mon dude! One of these dudes is all I got the duckets for after paying the big-ass guys bills. I gotta talk to my sis about that. Anyway, nice talking to you dude, whoever you are.

BF – Boo, Boo Feeder is my name, collecting crack conversations is my game. Glad to meet you. Care for a bit of chit chat?

HB – Crack? You got some? Oh man, it’s been so freaking long. Pops said I got to keep it on the DL, as if he knows what that means. Down Low but the big guy thinks it’s for Deep Lemon, his fave hair color. I know, I know. Crack? You hit the pipes Boobster? Oh man, it’s been too long. Two days now. Two days without a hit is like a month without sunshine. You dig dude? Ever been to Seattle? Man, no sun but plenty of crack cocaine! Ever been there Booby?

BF – No sir, never been to Murder City and I don’t hit the pipe as you say and I don’t have crack. What I do have is curiosity. I’m curious why your buddy, Eric Schwerin, met with you and your father twenty seven times while the Big Guy was Vice President of the USA. Why did you have so many prior meetings?

HB – Oh man, that was some shit huh? Caught his damn hair on fire then went running down the road! Never have I lit my head instead of the bowl. That’s cray cray! By the way, I don’t own a bicycle. Not a Huffy or a Schrwinn. Crack? You have any hits? Just a chipper, you know. Any? Wow, this box is getting heavy. Just a chip of a chip, that’s all I want.

BF – Not Richard Pryor, Hunter. Prior meetings that … never mind. You made millions of dollars while your father was VP and now that he’s POTUS, you could really get your hooks in those people that handed over cash for favors. Big favors for sure equal big, big money for the Biden family. No?

HB – C’mon dude! You say you have some crack and now you want to toss in a couple hookers? Yes! I’m in. To hell with this laptop, I have enough problems with laptops anyway. ( Hunter then slams the $6000 MacBook on the floor with a very expensive crunch sound ) Laptop, shlaptop! Let’s roll dude! Boobster. Funny ass name but anybody with coke and babes that choke is a friend of mine!

The store manager didn’t care who the guy was. Number One son or not, he was going to pay with money and time in the hoosegow. The Montgomery County police sent one officer to whisk away Hunter Biden and Boo Feeder thought “Finally, that man will pay some consequences for his behavior” as the police car went down Old Georgetown Road. But, the serendipitous event had a short life for as the police car stopped at a traffic light, Boo saw the First Son exit the car and walk away. It sounded like he was singing “Jimmie Crack Corn and I don’t care, Gimmie crack now and don’t burn my hair” but of that The Boobster could not be certain.