Didio’s Weblog

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Posts Tagged ‘MSNBC

MSNBC’S RACHEL MADDOW SAYS TRUMP’S MEDICAL REPORT IS A LIE! SHE HAS PROOF – SAYS RESIST, RESIST!!

leave a comment »

Donald Trump

In an undocumented, undisclosed, unverified underground urban secluded speakeasy that serves only special celebrities, Boo Feeder posed as a barperson, drink deliverer and copped a conversation with the one and only, the self declared magnificent momma Rachel Maddow. It only took six screwdrivers to loosen her lips and what spilled out was as salacious as a slippery snake!

“That phony ass doctor Jackoff! What an idiot! Canadian Cognitive Test ,my lily white ass! What the hell do Canadians know about being sane? Really? They play that white man’s, racist-ass hockey twenty four seven! And they make up some stupid-ass exam? All they know about are hockey sticks, pucks and cold-ass ice! Now you tell me they’re smart enough to make up a test then claim that Donald-ass Trump-ass is SANE! Why they…” At that point Mz. Maddow snipped the rant and ordered one more for the road. ” Set ’em up buttercup! ” She said while wagging her finger at my cohort, a busty blond that was quick to tell me she was happily married to her wife of four months and fifteen days. Brenda was excited that this marriage has outlasted her first by two months and twelve days. Hooray!

I interrupted the pairs of fixated eyes to ask Maddow why she didn’t believe Dr. Jackson. ” His credentials are unquestioned and he is no doubt apolitical so why, oh why would you think he lied about the president’s health? You do know that Trump has never smoked or had a drink of liquor, right? Might that not be a prime example for healthy living Miss Maddow?

” Listen up barkeep! I know crazy and that gold headed, woman hating, racist bastard is CRAZYYYYY! ” With that, the MSNBC personality stood on the barstool and waved her Superman glasses in circles above her crew cut and screamed in her most demonic, domineering voice ” Re-effing-sist people! Resistttttt! Dr. Jackemoff was paid by Not Hot Kelley-ass Ann-bitch! I got proof peoples! I got the goods on that wanna-be hot -scagbag Con-ass-way! I, I, I, I, I, I know the effing truth! Me! Me! Me! “

Rachel Maddow spun herself so hard that she screwed herself. Into the floor. ( That was me, Boo-ass Feeder, poking a little jab at the  insolent woman spinning on the tiles ). She stood up, ran her fingers through her hair then wiped a black goo on my chest and cried out again ” Me! Me! I was to be Chief of Staff in Hillary’s rainbow house. Me! And that rat bastard, homophobe Trump stole the election from my main-ass squeeze! Dump, dump, dump, Trump! “

What? Main squeeze? HC and RM? Now that makes sense! Maddow leads the resist! maniacs only to fulfill her dream of being a Chief of Staff for the country’s first female president. The self indulgence is of no surprise, sadly. I turned to ask her to expound on the “main squeeze” remark but she was gone. Apparently Brenda and Rachel went out the back door for some midnight delight.

I talked to Brenda a few days later. Sadly, she left her wife to be with Maddow but the “bespectacled beeatch”, as she put it, brushed her off like a bug in the night. Poor Brenda has taken a job at minimum wage where I found her, a cashier at Wally World where I was buying acetone to remove the black shoe polish stains on my once-favorite white Polo shirt.

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Written by boofeeder

January 18, 2018 at 4:21 am

Application To MSNBC For A TV Host Job

with one comment

Boofeeder recently applied to MSNBC for the host position vacated by Corrine Brown ( D-Fla) who was to be filling in for Rev. Al Sharpton while he goes on leave for a sex reassignment operation. Whether his or not is not known at this writing. Nevertheless, ex-congresswoman Brown will be away serving time, er … visiting her constituents at Allenwood Federal Prison for the next dozen or so years. The job opportunity comes at a time when Boofeeder would welcome the extra income to support his ailing cat, Boo.

Following is a copy of the application:

Name: Boofeeder

Sex ( if decided ): Male

Age ( you may use a Common Core calculator ): 64 – (12 moons x’s 2 polar bears x’s 3 icebergs ) + 3 fingers = 29 years old.

How many times can you repeat “Russia” in sixty seconds? 179

Which syllable in “impeachment” is emfasized? :  Emphasized? That would be on IM-peach-ment

How many eye rolls can you do when the name “Trump” is menshunnned?  Mentioned? As many as it takes to get the job

Are you able to shout “Trump Loves Putin!” without spitting?  Yes, maybe.

Trump is in Israel now. Give a brief example of how you would begin your report if you were there: Here we are with Trump in Israel which is only 1600 miles from Moscow. That’s less than three hours away from Russia, plenty of time to collude with Putin on how to fix more elections. Russia, Russia, Russia! IMpeach Trump! Russia, Russia. Too damn close to Russia!

Does Miladia Trump speak Russian?  Melania? Of course! ALL Trumps speak Russian. They are Russia’s best friends!

How Much Do You Hate Trump? RUSSSSSSSSIA!!!!!!!

May 22, 2017 Update:

Boofeeder was turned down for the following reasons per an email received this morning that reads in part:

Mr. Ms. or Wz.  Boofeeder, We are happy to inform you that you will not be working for us. You are clearly too enamored with Trump to fill the chair in our esteemed studio. For one, spelling is Not to be korrected. Words cannot be put in a box, they must be free to be themselves whatever that is. Also, 179 times is all you can manage to say Russia in one minute? Our hosts and guests top our minimum requirement of 225 Russias/Minute. Also, we know you are a liar! 2 polar bears times 12 moons? Really? Everyone knows there will be no more polar bears in 12 moons! Study up on Global Warming and speeding up your Russia spewing skills then get back to us. But! Be quick be cause imPEACHment will be sooner than you thing.

So much for that! Looks like Boofeeder will be selling his watch collection to pay the veterinarian.

Written by boofeeder

May 22, 2017 at 3:58 pm