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BOB BECKEL TAKES AIM AT DONALD TRUMP

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Written by boofeeder

April 19, 2017 at 9:13 pm

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BOB BECKEL TAKES AIM AT DONALD TRUMP

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Written by boofeeder

March 15, 2017 at 6:08 pm

BOB BECKEL TAKES AIM AT DONALD TRUMP

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After an extended vacation our fearless reporter, Boo Feeder,  has returned for your pleasure.  Mr. Feeder played gumshoe to track Bob Beckel to an after hours bar on 14th Street in southeast DC.  Carefully memorizing the secret knock on the oak paneled door, Boo Feeder rapped three times, kicked twice then hummed the tune of ‘One For My Baby’ into the six inch sliding steel hatch. He was let in and, luckily for him, the patrons were too intoxicated to notice or care who the guy with an Orioles tee-shirt tucked into a pair of slightly too large pair of jeans. Feeder was happy to have lost a few pounds these past few months but not nearly as elated to have caught Bob Beckel alone with his cheeks falling over the sides of a barstool. He sat next to the come-back liberal on Fox News and placed his phone between them to record the conversation.


Beckel began with”Orioles huh? They blew it in the World Series last years. Why the hell you thank they’ll win this year? THEY”RE DONE I tell youse! Hey slim, what’s that chatterbox doing on the bar?” 

“It’s my cellphone Mr. Beckel. I’d like to have our one-on-one recorded if that’s okay. Okay?”

“What the hell do I care asshole? Orioles suck!” Beckel said after slamming a bottle of soda on the bar.

“O’s haven’t been to the big show since 1983 when they beat Philly in five but that’s not what I want to talk to you about. Glad to see you’re drinking Coke not Coor’s but why here in a bar? Isn’t it dangerous for an alcoholic to sit at a bar at 3:30 in the morning?”

“None of your effing buzzniss buster. What you here for? Trump put you up to this? That freakin’ lying con man bazztert.” Beck was shouting now. With both fists pounded on the bar he continued “FREAKING LYINGS DRUMP! His goldamn fault that I’m sherry-er. Sum uva BRITCH flat I’m high against.” One cheek followed the other to the floor leaving Bob Beckel to shout more indiscernible words into the unpolished dirty wood flooring.

“But Bob, you’re drinking Coca Cola not some Russian vodka. How can you be drunk? Why do you hate Donald Trump so much? Isn’t anger poison to your sobriety?” Boo Feeder said compassionately. Beckel was like the political equivalent to Howard Cosell; a man you loved to hate. Not like this though. His fellow babbling, incoherent, angry Democrat friends can tolerate such vitriol but Feeder is not one of them.

“Druck? I’m not a truck! So I takes few pills so onest a while. SOO FreakING SO! I don’t take Votka so there your Trump bastred. I love efferyfuggingbody cept that bitsh Thrump. Heza LIAR! What ju mean Russia? You a goddam Russkier from that muffa Republicant Troump? GET OUR HERA BAZZERT! I TOLE YOU LOVE NOT HARE!” Beckel continued the rant rolling on the floor mumbling more profanity.

Boo Feeder watched helplessly as the straight jacket was wrestled on to Bob Beckel’s dirty suit and hauled off to St. Elizabeth’s Hospital. His suspenders were taken off for safety sake and tossed in the direction of Feeeder. He picked them up to hang them in his office where they are today. A memorial to the man that once was and is now in need of much prayer.

May God help Bob Beckel and all the other Trump haters that are so filled with anger that they defy the very principles they vie for.

 

Written by boofeeder

March 15, 2017 at 5:31 pm

SASHA GOT DRUNK ON HER DADDY’S DIME AND TIME

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As your dear soon to be departed leader ( from the White House, not from the living! ) was spending enough time saying farewell that he nearly went into a third term, his dear, sweet fifteen year-old daughter was getting sloshed on Vodka at a previously undisclosed location. She declined a seat at the king’s table saying “That’s awight. I got this example to study for. It gone be a bitch Ma! I best be staying home but tell pops good luck. I’ll catch him later. Right?” The fam left her home knowing she would be burning the midnight oils for her history test in the Black American’s Persecution in America class at her private school.

The black, gas guzzling SUV’s glided along to more gas using airplanes and automobiles all in the name of Our Greatest Man Who Ever Became President, Barack Hussein Obama. Damn the climate eating, fossil fuels. Our Black history is more important than some fat, stupid polar bear! So off they went while Sasha closed her bedroom door with her books and one convenient friend: Dad’s best bottle of Vodka.

She took one sip then one more. Feeling the good burn she’d become so familiar with, she let one good, long swallow go down the pipes. Her eyes closed to see Nirvanna playing on the inside of her lids and an amazing little banner-thingy running by in neon fashion saying ” Go Go Go! There’s a party on at a Sidwell’s Friend friend. Go!” So off she went.Out the window, climbed the fence and ran to ( name withheld) house on Quebec St. Luckily for her, the agents in charge of her safety were playing spades on the back deck and never saw the flash of green and red woolen pajama’s go swishing by.

When the teenager came crashing into the modest brick home, the BOSE speakers and the liquor induced commotion held no regard for a First Daughter. It wasn’t until an hour later when Sasha began to sober up from all the running and twerking sweating the booze out of her that she noticed someone laughing Way too loud ” Hashtags everywhere Yo!” Sash, you gone be hashtag queen with where you!”

“Huh?” the youngster said. “Hashtagging me? For effing what? Daddy knows I can kick it just as much as he can. Him and his ‘Beer Summits’. You think I don’t know about what he does in that funny-ass shaped room? Him a Bill Clinton turned that into Party Central and I don’t know? Shiiit. I can kick it all I want and still pass that dumb-ass example tomorrow.”

And so she did. Sasha aced it! There was only one question: Which white people have denigrated Black Americans the most in all of history? “ALL OF THEM! So says my moms!” she wrote and got a 5.0. Four for correctness, one for getting that jump on the Secret Service.

Disclaimer: Unlike your other noteworthy Fake News sites that report bogus reporting as newsworthy, BooFeeder makes NO claim that any of this report is true. But maybe, just maybe…

 

Written by boofeeder

January 12, 2017 at 11:46 pm

PAYPAL’S DIRTY SECRET SCAM

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So, you have a Paypal account to buy this or that on eBay, Amazon, etc., etc. You pay and get what you want in the blink of an eye. All is good. Then, you make what could be the most devastating de…

Source: PAYPAL’S DIRTY SECRET SCAM

Written by boofeeder

January 10, 2017 at 9:25 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

PAYPAL’S DIRTY SECRET SCAM

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So, you have a Paypal account to buy this or that on eBay, Amazon, etc., etc. You pay and get what you want in the blink of an eye. All is good. Then, you make what could be the most devastating decision in your online life: You decide to sell something to gain a few dollars in your account for relatively little work.

You have inherited a few things from grandpa that you love and some things that you could do without. There’s an ugly old clock that may or may not work but Grandpa must have like it because there’s not a speck of dust on the mahogany scrolls. But, it doesn’t fit with your conventional style so you decide to sell it. eBay’s fees are too high, Amazon doesn’t look like a place to sell antiques and there’s NO way you’d let a Craigs Lister meet you in person to pick it up. Despite the fees you opt to sell it on eBay.

And WOW! Papa Jack knew what he was doing when he bought that 100 year old clock. The bids went from $9.99 to $125 in two days then sold after seven days for $426.50 and is paid for immediately! What a gift from Above! There’s so many good things to do with these pennies from heaven. New shoes, new laptop or iPad, some name brand groceries would be a blessing (generic cereal is Disgusting!), clothes for sonny boy and on and on. Thank you Pops!

You pack the clock yourself then decide to spend a few extra bucks to have it shipped by a pro. The clock was sold As-Is with Zero guarantees because you really know nothing about how to evaluate it. There were twelve pictures from every angle possible to let those that know exactly what there’re bidding on and encouraged questions to look for what you might have missed. At the end of the bidding there was only one question to ask what shipping to Italy would be. That was strange as there was to be no International shipping so you answered politely that you will not send it over the pond. Other than that, nobody had any concerns that you were aware of.

Off she goes via Priority Mail and arrives three days later. One day after that you get your first feedback that the buyer loves the clock with “Bullet Proof Packing!” and a huge “Thank You!!!!!” at the end. The money goes to sonny boy and groceries after you marvel at how easy that was and there’s plenty more of grandpa’s stuff that you’re willing to part with.  An Elgin pocket watch sells for $139 (new shoes!), a gold coin that was laying in his old wooden “junk” box sold for $650! ( just in time to pay the hiked up health insurance bill. Thanks Obama). Over a period of three months you’ve made more on eBay than your wildest dreams ever allowed. Praise Be!!

Then the bubble bursts without warning. That clock the buyer was so happy with. Remember him? Four months later and you s that he’s decided the clock doesn’t work and demands a full refund. What?You say. How can someone own an antique object for 120 days then return it on w him? Naw! Can’t be. That sudden negative Paypal balance has to be a mistake.

But it’s a sad reality. Paypal allows all buyers up to 180 days to return an item for whatever reason the makes up. Even an antique dish that falls off the table and shatters when a dog goes wagging by can be sent back for a full refund six months after the sale. Paypal claims that ” all our customers are honest. If they say that dish was broken when they got but forgot to make the claim until a few months later, well that’s just a forgivable oversight. Besides, you, the seller, should have never sold a broken dish to begin with.” It’s that California liberal attitude that all business people are unsavory thieves while the common man is honest as long as the day is long in the Alaskan summer. That is all businesses except theirs. They are the saviors saving the world from evildoers like you, the person that sold a clock in good faith. Or the one that sold a piece of glass that was never declared as indestructible but should have been because not all people know that glass can break or that old clocks need oiled now and then.

So what is the alternative? I honestly have no answers but would certainly welcome some input. Please reply!

Thank you.

Written by boofeeder

January 10, 2017 at 9:24 pm

Posted in ebay, paypal, Uncategorized

Tagged with , ,

Hillary Clinton, America’s National Embarrassment Is At It Again!

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Slavery was a great embarrassment to a newly formed nation but not the only country that participated in such horrific treatment of fellow mankind. China, Greece, the Romans, Portugal, India and too many others also participated in slavery. When the Emancipation Proclamation of 1863 freed the slaves the beginnings of new hopes and freedoms dawned and we have done well to keep the chains, both literally and figuratively,  off the ankles of Americans for the past 153 years. The black scar is mostly atoned for. Until now.

As if the perpetual apologizing by our current president wasn’t enough to slip the USA down rungs on the ladder of integrity and promise, we now have a person that was not satisfied with diminishing our stature with her emails that bespoke bribery, dishonesty and criminality to now choose to belittle America with a recount on the election. Anyone that believes it’s Jill Stein initiating this act of desperate rage must also believe that the world is flat. If hacking her email was of some benefit now, it would certainly have an exchange something  like this:

Huma, get that Stein beeatch to count the goddam votes but keep my effing name out of it. You got that? Do it now Huma dear. I’ll take care of you forever just like Ive always promised. Love me, Hill

Then Huma would respond:

Hill sweety, that be done! We got word from George S that his peeps are forwarding six mil to Stein right now. Love you, Hummy

HRC would be happy dancing like Sammy Davis Jr in the movie ‘Tap’:

Hummy U are the bestest! I knew Georgie would come through. He has for all these years with Brack OeffingBama, I knew he would do the same for me. And its all bc of U Hummy. U and Me forever! Theres no way we can be hacked again by “the russians” lol right? I mean we got that bastard that leaked on us before taken care of. Right Hummy?

Quicker than Bill Clinton can get the phone number from a 16 year old girl, Huma responded:

Oh hes taken up residence in the Chesapeake Bay. 70 feet down lol. We got that new security device from oh shit I cant remember that asswipes name. You know the one. We paid him off back there in Guatemala when we went there last month to meet one of Bills “friends”. I met that guy Macafferty? and he hooked me up with this whizbang security thing. Said we could be as private as we want cause nobody’s ever going to see it but you and me. Ain’t that great honey? We can be who and what we are and nobody will know! Love, Huma

After slapping her Cuban maid for missing a spot of dust on a table, Hillary pounded the keys on her laptop so hard that the keys were popping off going here and there.

UMA! YOU DUMBSHIT! That was McAfee who swore to out me and Bill years ago for not buying his freaking security program! And you used him to keep our emails secret now?How freaking dumb are you?For the love of me Miss Dumbo! There isnt a cloth big nuff to wipe this crap off. Wait til Fox gets hold of this. AND THEY WILL! We got to clean this up rightfreakin Now. NO MORE EMAILS!

Humma read this with tears the size of Texas streaming down her cheeks. Then wrote:

But Hill Baby, I was just following orders from Bill. He said this Mac guy was square. Said he got lots of “women” from him and nobody was the wiser. I didn’t Know!Please forgive me honey. I cant live without you My Leader! Remember that?I called you that once and you said ‘and don’t you forget it sweetheart!’ then we made love all night. Remember? You are my leader, my number one, my life! Forgive me??

Hillary spat at the laptop with this:

Who the hell are you? Who is hacking into my emails? Damn Russians! Huma who? Never heard of you! Anyone else reading this know this: I DID NOT WRITE ANYTHING ON THIS EMAIL. I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT WOMAN, HUMA!

MSNBC, CNN, CBS, NBC and ABC all made excuses for the outrageous exchanges. They blamed it on her hard working long days and the travel. Oh the travel! That taxes all of us right? Who can travel to five states in one day with tens of thousands of supporters cheering you on? Well, maybe Donal Trump but he’s not human. Hillary IS human and broke under the pressure like you would.

And that was the last we heard from the leftist media and the last communication from HRC. The media fell under their own weight because their listeners like to rant and rave but they don’t spend money on their sponsors so they left for more a balanced venue. One where customers actually bought their products. “Hill Baby” was last seen under a waterfall with a brunette but the splashing was so rough that the other woman could not be identified. And Bill? He has taken up residence on a Philippine island and refuses to return to the USA.

Ain’t life grand?!

Written by boofeeder

November 29, 2016 at 2:01 am