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DONNA BRAZILE STEPS ON HILLARY CLINTON THEN TELLS HER TO GO TO HELL!

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Donna Brazile, a long time Democratic strategist and mouthpiece for everything liberal, has stepped all over her former hero, Hillary Clinton. In her book, Hacks, the 57 year old woman who has been described as “openly lesbian”, laid the equivalent of tar and feathers over the former Secretary of State for rigging the 2016 presidential election. In her book, Ms. Brazile exposed the failures in the DNC that made Donald Trump the 45th president of the United States. To a point, Brazile outed Clinton as the one who rigged the nomination in a way that she, and only she, would be the Democrat Party nominee then go on to a certain victory in November 2016.

We all know how that went.

Lucky for his fans and followers, Boo Feeder was walking past a Starbucks when he saw Donna Brazile at a table. She was there for a book signing with stacks of Hacks but no customers so Boo bolted in to seize the opportunity.

” Miss Brazile! Hope you don’t mind if I ask a couple questions this morning. ” I screeched one of those noisy metal chairs over to her table and sat down before she could say no.

” Who the hell you? Where is my book you want signed? What you want to ask me boy? ” She  said while spitting her latte in my eye.

” My name is Boo Feeder. I am a freelance reporter with tens of thous.., er, tens of followers and we all want to know how Hillary Clinton managed to fix the primaries “.

” Lookit here Feeder, I never said Hillary rigged or fixed the damn election! It was the Russians! You take that down real easy boy and you take it down right. I did not get it on with Hillary! She met me before the debate and I talked to her, that’s mighty damn right. Sure, I handed her the question list. So what, white boy? That is my freaking job! Then that damn Wackoff Leaks got my emails. Now that ain’t right! All I got out of all my work for the Democrat Party was fired and a kiss on the cheek from Hillary Damn Clinton! A peck on the cheek! Like I was expecting a little more, right? Maybe a hug? A kiss on the lips? Maybe cop a feel of my big, ample breasts? A peck on the cheek? Damn! I said right there that That’s It! I’m going to put Joe Boy Biden in her place. That dirty bee-atch! Biden says No! Not in this lifetime! He’s afraid of the Clinton’s, especially that Hillary. He says Donna? You know what happens to people that go against her? They have sudden heart attacks! Weird ass accidents! They die Donna! Shit, he’s right. I know for sure! So I write this book you want signed. I got bank for that from you know who! I take it all back though, right? Hillary didn’t “

The woman sitting across from me has lodged so much mocha latte into my eyes by now that I couldn’t bear to hear any more of her slabbering. ” Miss Brazile. Excuse me ma’am. All that is in your book. What I want to know is this, are you going to support Joe Biden or Bernie Sanders in 2020? “

” Is you out your ever racist mind Feeder? I  got my own pick for 2020 and it is Not none of them two losers! No! What we need here is hope and change! What we need here is somebody who has Never been in politics in her whole life. Someone to take on that gold-ass bigot and toss his fat ass out on the sidewalks of New York where he Nevah! shoulda left. No sir! We, I mean I, am going to make us a new president! One who knows blacks have been sitting in the back of the bus too damn long. And women! We need representing! Boy, we, I mean I, am going to make her the next president of the United States! “

With that she pointed to a laminated card on her key ring. In the middle of the lamination, surrounded by hearts and roses was the image of a woman that was further smudged with lipstick kisses. I  had an idea who her idol was but had to ask.

” Why that is the next POTUS you poor white man! That there is MO! Oh my word, is she she going to straighten you and every other white-ass honky cracker out like chickens on a string! ” At that she pulled a picture of Hillary Clinton out of her bra, threw it on the floor, jumped out of her chair stepping all over Hillary and spinning around the coffee shop chanting ” GO TO HELL HILLARY! WE, I MEAN I, WANT EM-OH, EM-OH, MO TWO OH!”

The Starbuck’s baristas joined the merriment singing ” MO, MO, Mocha Ole! Mocha Ole! We love our mocha ol”. That’s when Donna Brazile threw her chair at the unfortunate singing duo. She screamed ” What the hell you white people know about mocha brown anything? I don’t care about your stupid coffee. Shit, I got better coffee at the Piggly Damn Wiggly! Mocha Ole, what kind of crazy cracker shit it that? I was talking about the one and only EM OH! And she is going to run this whole damn world like it should be done! M-O, MO, MO TWO OH! “

The chanting and throwing of chairs continued until every table, every window, every person in the little store went crashing to the sidewalk outside. I knew at that instant just who her leader was, who Brazile planned on propping up for the 2020 election and I began to shiver. The only hope for all of us is that there will be full exposure on the rigging investigation and the real Russian story.  That the Clinton’s and Obama’s will be exposed and  MO will never be president of the United States.

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Written by boofeeder

November 5, 2017 at 7:02 pm

Interview With Hillary Clinton on Donald Trump and Health Care

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Boofeeder has been busily finding the perfect person to best vocalize the Democrats point of view in regards to the new health care bill recently passed by the congress. That bill will be hardly recognizable once the senate manhandles it but that does not stop politicians and pundits alike from getting their mugs in front of the cameras in favor or to show disdain for the bill.  The one person that has recently emerged from her self imposed isolation is Hillary Clinton. She says that she speaks for the whole Party of the People as she now calls the Democrats and agreed to this exclusive interview with our very own fearless reporter, Boo Feeder.

“Mrs. Clinton, thank you so much for this opportunity to talk with you. It is my humble honor to have you tell our audience what you think about the health care bill as passed on May 4, 2017.”

Hillary, as we have been allowed to address her, scanned her eyes at the approaching crowd and said ” Oh Mr. Feeder, the honor is all mine. To clarify my position, I want everyone to know that I will not be running for president in 2018. ”

” You mean 2020 ma’?” Feeder asked with lips pursed as his question was cut short.

Before he could get out the “‘am’, she retorted with ” We’ll see won’t we ” she chuckled then finished “One never knows what will be does one?” Chuckling again.

” Okay. With that said, did you review the bill and what would you have done had you won the election? ”

” I hate Trump” Hillary said with a Cheshire grin.

” Yes, I get that a lot from the left. But, don’t you find it odd that while Obamacare is falling apart with insurers bowing out and deductibles so high that the average American cannot afford to pay anything other than the fines under your former bosses plan? ” Boo had to step back as he was asking that question as Mrs. Clinton’s Maude-like jacket was flapping him in his legs. Whatever metal object in her pocket was jabbing him like a Shun knife on the chopping block.

” I hate Trump ” she said as her eyes closed under pinched brows.

Ignoring the blood soaking through his pants, Boo Feeder continued ” 94 of 99 counties in Iowa are now without health care choices. Millions of families making less than forty thousand dollars a year are required to pay twenty five to thirty five percent of their income before Obama’s health care kicks in. Doesn’t that concern you Mrs. Secretary? ”

” I hate Trump” she echoed.

” Even members in your own party acknowledge that Obamacare needs fixing. Are you against any fixes whatsoever? “. The blood was now filling up his sock.

” I hate Trump ” Hillary Clinton said again in a higher pitched, trembling voice.

” Yes, you hate our American president, Donald Trump. We all know that. You’ve made your hate for Trump, the Russians, James Comey, Fox News and all who differ from your views  very, very clear. What, dare I ask again, would you do different? ” What the hell is in that pocket of yours? is what he wanted to ask.

” I hate Trump “. Hillary Clinton repeated then reached into her pant suit jacket pocket and pulled out a Morning Star with ‘ Trump Slayer ‘ engraved on the shaft and twirled it around Boo’s head.

Boo, now stepped back another fifteen feet, asked ” So you hate Trump, that quite obvious but who, pray tell, do you love? ”

” I love everybody! ” Hillary Clinton screamed over and over while dancing with the medieval weapon as a gymnast manipulating a hula-hoop.

Boo was impressed by her physical agility but dismayed by her steadfast opposition to anything from the right. He wanted to stop the madness spinning and cringing in front of him but knew that would be impossible. After stopping the recording, he limped his paling self to the emergency room. Boo Feeder’s wound required ten stitches but what hurt more was the complete evisceration of  empathy and common sense of the Trump haters who claim to sympathize and love everyone on the planet.

 

Written by boofeeder

May 5, 2017 at 5:19 pm

SASHA GOT DRUNK ON HER DADDY’S DIME AND TIME

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As your dear soon to be departed leader ( from the White House, not from the living! ) was spending enough time saying farewell that he nearly went into a third term, his dear, sweet fifteen year-old daughter was getting sloshed on Vodka at a previously undisclosed location. She declined a seat at the king’s table saying “That’s awight. I got this example to study for. It gone be a bitch Ma! I best be staying home but tell pops good luck. I’ll catch him later. Right?” The fam left her home knowing she would be burning the midnight oils for her history test in the Black American’s Persecution in America class at her private school.

The black, gas guzzling SUV’s glided along to more gas using airplanes and automobiles all in the name of Our Greatest Man Who Ever Became President, Barack Hussein Obama. Damn the climate eating, fossil fuels. Our Black history is more important than some fat, stupid polar bear! So off they went while Sasha closed her bedroom door with her books and one convenient friend: Dad’s best bottle of Vodka.

She took one sip then one more. Feeling the good burn she’d become so familiar with, she let one good, long swallow go down the pipes. Her eyes closed to see Nirvanna playing on the inside of her lids and an amazing little banner-thingy running by in neon fashion saying ” Go Go Go! There’s a party on at a Sidwell’s Friend friend. Go!” So off she went.Out the window, climbed the fence and ran to ( name withheld) house on Quebec St. Luckily for her, the agents in charge of her safety were playing spades on the back deck and never saw the flash of green and red woolen pajama’s go swishing by.

When the teenager came crashing into the modest brick home, the BOSE speakers and the liquor induced commotion held no regard for a First Daughter. It wasn’t until an hour later when Sasha began to sober up from all the running and twerking sweating the booze out of her that she noticed someone laughing Way too loud ” Hashtags everywhere Yo!” Sash, you gone be hashtag queen with where you!”

“Huh?” the youngster said. “Hashtagging me? For effing what? Daddy knows I can kick it just as much as he can. Him and his ‘Beer Summits’. You think I don’t know about what he does in that funny-ass shaped room? Him a Bill Clinton turned that into Party Central and I don’t know? Shiiit. I can kick it all I want and still pass that dumb-ass example tomorrow.”

And so she did. Sasha aced it! There was only one question: Which white people have denigrated Black Americans the most in all of history? “ALL OF THEM! So says my moms!” she wrote and got a 5.0. Four for correctness, one for getting that jump on the Secret Service.

Disclaimer: Unlike your other noteworthy Fake News sites that report bogus reporting as newsworthy, BooFeeder makes NO claim that any of this report is true. But maybe, just maybe…

 

Written by boofeeder

January 12, 2017 at 11:46 pm

Hillary Clinton, America’s National Embarrassment Is At It Again!

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Slavery was a great embarrassment to a newly formed nation but not the only country that participated in such horrific treatment of fellow mankind. China, Greece, the Romans, Portugal, India and too many others also participated in slavery. When the Emancipation Proclamation of 1863 freed the slaves the beginnings of new hopes and freedoms dawned and we have done well to keep the chains, both literally and figuratively,  off the ankles of Americans for the past 153 years. The black scar is mostly atoned for. Until now.

As if the perpetual apologizing by our current president wasn’t enough to slip the USA down rungs on the ladder of integrity and promise, we now have a person that was not satisfied with diminishing our stature with her emails that bespoke bribery, dishonesty and criminality to now choose to belittle America with a recount on the election. Anyone that believes it’s Jill Stein initiating this act of desperate rage must also believe that the world is flat. If hacking her email was of some benefit now, it would certainly have an exchange something  like this:

Huma, get that Stein beeatch to count the goddam votes but keep my effing name out of it. You got that? Do it now Huma dear. I’ll take care of you forever just like Ive always promised. Love me, Hill

Then Huma would respond:

Hill sweety, that be done! We got word from George S that his peeps are forwarding six mil to Stein right now. Love you, Hummy

HRC would be happy dancing like Sammy Davis Jr in the movie ‘Tap’:

Hummy U are the bestest! I knew Georgie would come through. He has for all these years with Brack OeffingBama, I knew he would do the same for me. And its all bc of U Hummy. U and Me forever! Theres no way we can be hacked again by “the russians” lol right? I mean we got that bastard that leaked on us before taken care of. Right Hummy?

Quicker than Bill Clinton can get the phone number from a 16 year old girl, Huma responded:

Oh hes taken up residence in the Chesapeake Bay. 70 feet down lol. We got that new security device from oh shit I cant remember that asswipes name. You know the one. We paid him off back there in Guatemala when we went there last month to meet one of Bills “friends”. I met that guy Macafferty? and he hooked me up with this whizbang security thing. Said we could be as private as we want cause nobody’s ever going to see it but you and me. Ain’t that great honey? We can be who and what we are and nobody will know! Love, Huma

After slapping her Cuban maid for missing a spot of dust on a table, Hillary pounded the keys on her laptop so hard that the keys were popping off going here and there.

UMA! YOU DUMBSHIT! That was McAfee who swore to out me and Bill years ago for not buying his freaking security program! And you used him to keep our emails secret now?How freaking dumb are you?For the love of me Miss Dumbo! There isnt a cloth big nuff to wipe this crap off. Wait til Fox gets hold of this. AND THEY WILL! We got to clean this up rightfreakin Now. NO MORE EMAILS!

Humma read this with tears the size of Texas streaming down her cheeks. Then wrote:

But Hill Baby, I was just following orders from Bill. He said this Mac guy was square. Said he got lots of “women” from him and nobody was the wiser. I didn’t Know!Please forgive me honey. I cant live without you My Leader! Remember that?I called you that once and you said ‘and don’t you forget it sweetheart!’ then we made love all night. Remember? You are my leader, my number one, my life! Forgive me??

Hillary spat at the laptop with this:

Who the hell are you? Who is hacking into my emails? Damn Russians! Huma who? Never heard of you! Anyone else reading this know this: I DID NOT WRITE ANYTHING ON THIS EMAIL. I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT WOMAN, HUMA!

MSNBC, CNN, CBS, NBC and ABC all made excuses for the outrageous exchanges. They blamed it on her hard working long days and the travel. Oh the travel! That taxes all of us right? Who can travel to five states in one day with tens of thousands of supporters cheering you on? Well, maybe Donal Trump but he’s not human. Hillary IS human and broke under the pressure like you would.

And that was the last we heard from the leftist media and the last communication from HRC. The media fell under their own weight because their listeners like to rant and rave but they don’t spend money on their sponsors so they left for more a balanced venue. One where customers actually bought their products. “Hill Baby” was last seen under a waterfall with a brunette but the splashing was so rough that the other woman could not be identified. And Bill? He has taken up residence on a Philippine island and refuses to return to the USA.

Ain’t life grand?!

Written by boofeeder

November 29, 2016 at 2:01 am

The Donald Has Trump-ed The GOP, America and the Media!

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The GOP’s elite establishment were so afraid of Donlad Trump going off the rails that they pushed him to sign the equal of a Do Not Compete clause. If Trump wasn’t nominated as the GOP’s candidate for president he promised not to run as a third party candidate. He signed it, no problem. There it is in black and white, the Grand Old Party has bushwhacked The Donald! Not even in a bizzaro world would a circus barker be elected to anything other than maybe mayor of East Haven, Vermont. He’d been had by the best in the business of politics. Put that in your pipe and choke on it Mr. Trumpster!

Ahhh, the best laid plans….and all other pertinent cliché’s have made writing this blog oh too easy. It is Trump who has the last laugh…and all other perti….you get it. He beat them all.

What the GOP establishment didn’t get and likely never will due to a collective ego as expansive as the Milky Way, is that Donald Trump had them hoodwinked. He signed that promissory note to not run as a third party because he IS the third party! He has never been a Republican or a Democrat, he has been and always will be the DMP ( Deal Makers Party ). Trump is possibly the best marketer and self promoter of all time. Strike that. He IS the best!

What we need to question is not whether Trump is a Republican but can he lead the country as a big business rather than as a bureaucracy. It would certainly be nice to have efficiency in big government. One person doing the job as one person rather than twenty people half doing the job of one would be fabulous. A president that knows the value of picking the right person to run a department would be so welcome after the past seven years of accumulating incompetency.

Is Trump the one to build a wall in one half of the country while tearing them down in the other half? Can one person do that will the exigency needed? We’ll soon find out because I, for one, believe that Trump is inevitably the one and only person to compete against Hillary Clinton. This country could not endure another four years of lies, deceit and incompetency.

Written by boofeeder

March 1, 2016 at 3:13 pm

Interview With Attack Shark in North Carolina’s Outer Banks

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Hey. My name is Tooth Tuttle. Been a head boat captain here in Hatteras since before you was a pimple in the pool. Don’t much like talking to y’all with sand in the brain but it’s time somebody spoke up for the sharks out there. You see all that water? Wave after wave shimmering deeper than a humpback in heat. More daggone sharks out there than you got boots in Texas. I been knowing them good. Better than some high falutin college kid with a deegree in socialized seamanship. Thinking they know it all ’bout my friends. Hogwash! That’s right, I said ‘friends’. I been talking with sharks of every color, so to speak, since, well, for a long dang time. Now that they are getting more attention since that fake-ass movie, it’s time y’all knew the truth.

I’m here on the dock with Elsie, a 12 year old Bull that was with his buddies when they shooed them humans out of their house. I’ll do the interpreting since none of youse can read shark lips.

Hi Elsie. Try and stay still my friend. The people out there want to know what has you guys all riled up.

“Us? Riled? Man, you know what this piece of God’s little lake used to be like? Rolling hills of sea splashing along a bare shore. Not a two legged creature in sight. No cars, so ugly signs, no put together hunks of wood stretched out to our wading pools. No nothing but Heavenly Glory to swim and make love in. It was the Pool Of Eden! And we we were happy with each other. Even the mullets had a smile on their gills when we ate them.”

And now? What’s different, as if I don’t know.

“Now? Are you serious? Boats passing over tossing cans, plastics,  black goo and God knows what into our living rooms. How would you like it? We talk with the dolphins and the things they see! What are you creatures trying to do? Spoil all the oceans with stuff you don’t want? Guess what Tooth, if you don’t want it, neither do we! Why, have you seen what’s under those white caps out there? Rusted steel! You sink your boats to let germs live off the rust then infect and kill our young. Empty tanks, empty cans, empty lives polluting our home. And it only gets worse. My daddy told me that 35 – 40 years ago, there was hardly a soul on these beaches. And the ones that did come, had respect for our homes. But now! You dig up the sand with your cars, leave oil and trash on our beaches to ebb back into our dining room. And you keep on coming! More and more every year. Taking away the beauty one sign after another house after every car. It’s madness I tell you!”

But, Elsie, ripping the limbs off our children don’t do much for your cause. People are afraid Elsie and that’s not good, is it?

“Listen up. We are as discriminating as alcoholism. Anyone is fair game! Sure, I don’t like to see your young folk get hurt but guess what? Their pain will pass but the fear will last forever. The more you two legged, air breathing creatures from the black lagoon are scared, the further you’ll stay away from the deep blue sea. If I came unwanted into your house would you shoot me or let me rob your house of every tuna fish can in the cupboard? You’d shoot me! Or at least you’d want to. And I wouldn’t blame you! You, that is most of you, are as stupid as you are ugly. People can take guns from each other but, brother I tell you, we sharks are not pulling the teeth out of ourselves! We will be armed and use our weapons whenever we are threatened. People can cave into criminals but we won’t cave into people!”

Now, Elsie, that’s quite pro found. Maybe we all can learn a little something from you. By the way, do you know anything about politics here on land?

“Do I! Why, in two weeks I will be announcing my run for president. You all get mealy mouth  do nothings puffing their gills for what? Change of what? You all make my teeth hurt. It’s time for a Real change! It’s time to put a REAL shark in the White Poolhouse! Bring it on Donal Trump! I’m coming after you son, son!”

BARACK OBAMA PLAYS GOLF WITH RUSH LIMBAUGH’S BALLS!

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rushball

Shortly after feinting sorrow over the horrendous murder of an American journalist, our fearless reporter went undercover as Barack Obama’s caddy in a Martha’s Vineyard private golf course. He had only a few minutes to disguise himself before President Obama frolicked from a makeshift podium to the first tee but, to our delight, he pulled it off. Here is Boofeeder’s own John Q. Public’s report:

At hole number one, Mr. Obama twisted and bent to the rapping of N.W.A.. Moments after “Damn, that shit was dope”, Obama threw a fist in the air then turned to me to say ” Ah, boy! Ah, toss me one my, ah, balls. Feeling dope today! Give me Rush Limbaugh’s ball out of the sac. C’mon boy! It’s going to be a good damn day!”

I reached in the side pocket of his golf bag that was decorated with a profile of Obama at the Arc De Triomphe and a presidential seal below his shoulders. There were dozens of balls with photo’s printed on them. Glenn Beck, John Boehner, Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly slipped through my hands before I found Rush’s face.

“Damn boy! Give me that Limbaugh ball toot freakin sweet! I’m gonna smack the snot out of that cracker! Ah, you going to have to pick up the pace boy. I’ll be lucky to get in eighteen before some knucklehead interrupts me with another damn news piece I don’t give a rat’s ass about. Boy! I said now!” He demanded.

I handed him the ball and a request ” Mr. Obama? I respectfully ask that you not refer to me as ‘boy’. I’m a man. Served in Iraq and Afghanistan and now a police officer in Boston. Being your caddy today was an honor I proudly volunteered for and graciously accepted. I am not a ‘boy’. My name is John.” Mixing in fact with fiction made me feel like a politician but as they say ‘when in Rome…’.

“Ahh. You think ‘boy’ is offensive? Listen here boy, it’s only degrading when a white honky calls you that. But, ah, from one black man to another, ‘boy’ is a ‘nom de noir’. Nom de Noir! Just made that up, boy! You like…” As Obama was slapping himself on the back while bending over to put Limbaugh’s ball on the tee, his Blackberry jingled to an old gansta rap rhyme by Ice-T.

“Ah, yessir. Yessir. I know that sir. But..” he said in a lower voice as he kicked Limbaugh off the perch then continued ” Sir? Eric said it was okay. He said he got it from you that I should keep it cool and play golf today. Oh, you didn’t? What’s that George? Ah, yeah. I know. Yep, I did call him ‘Jim’ not James, but that’s what Eric…yessir. Good bye Mr. Soros. I’ll clean it up right after this vacation. Bye”. With that Obama teed up the ball with Rush Limbaugh facing directly at the club head and gave it a hard whack. “Take that El Honky!” he shouted.

The ball flew out about one hundred yards then took a nasty slice to the left and splashed into a creek. We got into the golf cart personalized with the presidential seal painted on the front, back and roof. I drove up to where the ball went out of bounds but Obama told me to move on up another fifty yards. He demanded another Rush ball and, after two mishits, landed the golf ball into a sand trap bordering the perfectly manicured green. The president walked past the trap and ordered me to toss him another ball “Ah, let’s have Nancy Pelosi boy. And, ah, hand me that putter with the rubber front. Can’t hurt Nancy! Always use a rubber when you spanking a woman like that, boy! Yep, put her lips on my balls, I did. Used one of those photo engraving machines in my spare time. You know, ah, when the folks in the cracker house get busy with writing talking points for me and my minions. Chris Matthews and all them at MSNBC, ABC, NBC, CBS all get told what to say so what else am I to, ah, do? I asked George if it was okay if I took up a hobby and he said ‘Balack, why don’t you go in the basement and play with your balls?’ And so I did! Started out pasting pictures on my balls then Michelle said ‘Brack! Get with it man. There’s a machine for stamping your balls. Use it or I’ll stamp on your balls myself!  Josh will bring one down to you. You stay put Brack. When George says it’s okay, I’ll come get you and your balls my damn self. You got that?’

The president laughed at the innuendo’s then tapped Nancy Pelosi on her inflated lips. The ball came up short of the hole but Obama picked it up and said to me “Ah, I’ll take a three on that boy. Birdied the first hole! That’s the way to start a round! Told you, boy, it was going to be a glorious day for me!”

Again, I couldn’t keep my big mouth shut and told him that there’s no way I could write down a ‘3’ on the scorecard that was printed with Barack Obama’s image and titled “Hope, Change, Fairways and Greens”. In reality it took him no less than ten strokes to get his balls in the hole. “Sir, one in the creek, two out, hitting three then swinging and missing twice before bouncing it in the trap, that’s six. You skipped the sand bunker to place a Pelosi ball five feet from the hole, that’s seven, eight. Then missed the putt and picked it up declaring a ‘gimme’, that’s nine, ten strokes on a par four. And you say to give you a three? No sir. In the name of integrity for the game, I can’t do that. Sir. And sir? My name is John, not Boy.”

“Boy! I told you that it’s only bigoted to call a black man ‘boy’ when it’s an albino bacon bits belegana saying it! Damn, boy, you know I am the POTUS, right? I can do whatever the hell I want to do. Rules, regulations, laws? That’s for little people, not top dawgs like me! Shit, boy, you know who I am? Playing this game of golf? It’s like ruling the world. I put the enemy’s face on a piece of wood and smash him, or her if you’re talking about that Palin or one of them Fox News girlies, and watch it go into oblivion. That’s, ah, war, my boy. One of these days a golf course will be just like the world I was promised to rule. George and Eric say that in a perfect world, the golf course of politics will be one big ass open field kept mowed by, ah, ‘surfs’ is what they said, whatever that means, with one humungous hole the size of New York City in the center. One world, one nation! With moi at the middle of it all! Yessir boy. You stick with me and I’ll….” Obama broke off his maniacal rant to take another call.

“Where? Free Go Son? Fergie’s Son? Sheeit, Eric, you going where? For what? Oh yeah, Josh told me about that. Damned white aryan cop murdered that innocent young brother. Ah, yep, Josh called me yesterday while I was on the ninth hole ’bout that. Cost me an eagle! Had to take a bird there. I took Glenn Beck and whipped his conspiring white cheeks in the lake. Cost me an eagle Eric! Yeah, ah, you go there and tell them I’m thinking of all them black people, ah, victims. You make sure of that, okay?”

The POTUS turned up the speakers in the cart with Capone N Noreaga screaming “100 channels, turn station, operation 140, Earthquake would bring glory, Noreaga, but for short just call me Nore Catagory, point-blank end of the story”. Obama said “Now that’s dope, boy! Boy? Boy? Where you going boy?”

It was more than I could take. I wiped off the charcoal and turned my white honky-ass face back to Barack Obama and said ” From one ‘boy’ to another: Your balls are all wet!” then tossed all his golf balls in the drink and ran like a scared cat back to my SUV and drove away with three black Cadillac’s chasing me. As I rounded the turn losing the Secret Service back at the gate, I saw Barack Obama kissing what looked like the Sister Souljah ball that slipped out of my hand at the second hole.

End of report.

 

 

 

Written by boofeeder

August 22, 2014 at 2:26 pm