NANCY PELOSI & HARRY REID FIND MH370 MISSING PLANE!
True story! Nancy Pelosi (D-California), former HOR speaker and Harry Reid (D-NV) current head honcho of the US Senate, have found the missing Malaysian Boeing 777 airliner. They used their covert NSA satellites to track and discover the jumbo jet deep in the Aboriginal region of Australia where they guided it to it’s final fate. Both pilots, it is now known, conspired with Pelosi and Reid to land the plane in Australia. The reason for the hijacking was uncovered in an email and video sent by Reid to Pelosi two weeks ago. When Harry Reid was asked about it, he was flabbergasted to learn that emails and videos can actually be read or viewed after clicking on ‘Delete’.
As it happens, the plane was not taken for nefarious or terroristic means, it was stolen to sell for scrap metal! Reid wrote to Pelosi a month ago “Hey chickie, you seen what scrap iron’s selling for these days? What’s a 777 weigh? 40-90 tons? I need some ready cash to give my granddaughter to give to my lawyer to give to my parents to give back to me, convertly so U no. You in doll baby?” Pelosi said she was game for anything and if anyone asks “we’ll tell MSNBC that we don’t need to answer no dumbass questions and you know Chrissy ‘Baby Cheeks’ Matthews? he’ll fall for anything we tell him. I’m in!”
Pelosi’s publicist, Sheeza Lyer, said that her boss lady regrets the loss of lives. Theys sposed to land that dang plane, not crash land! Danged stupid pilots can’t read Englash! I..I mean Nan never did puts ‘crash’ before ‘land’ in her message. But, you know, they was Chinese and who’s going to miss a couple hundred Chinee out of the 498 kazillion on Erth? Besides that” Miss Lyer said ” them bodies can be sent to the UK for food or paper products or whatever else they use peoples carcasses for over there. It’s a win win win!” Lyer added. “Boss woman gets cash so she can pay her help (like me) under the table and we can buy stuff like you know, medical weed? and stuff. Cash in, cash out and the US economy keeps rolling along. Win win win!”
Harry Reid was unavailable for comment. His secretary, Himma Dopie, says that Sen. Reid (Democrat, Nevada) is busy at the Bunny Ranch reading ‘Emails For Dummies” and would respond in two months when Fox News is picking on somebody else.