Didio’s Weblog

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The Obama Recession Has Taught Me A Few Lessons

with 4 comments

This was written four years ago but is just as true today as it was then:

In the past three years since our supreme leader took over the economy I have learned some valuable lessons. Here are just a few:

  1. The cheaper the coffee, the faster the trip to the toilet.
  2. Cheap gas at off brand stations has enough water content to freeze my gas tank.
  3. Even stray cats and wild opossums won’t eat generic pet food.
  4. Drifting is stupid.
  5. I don’t miss HBO or Showtime at all.
  6. Generic razor blades can kill you
  7. Long hair is back in style. Or not. Doesn’t matter because I can’t afford to get it cut anyway.
  8. Cats, dogs and parrots eat too dang much.
  9. Pasta is better than dog food.
  10. Cheap, generic pasta is NOT better than dog food.
  11. I can walk to the convenience store without having a heart attack.
  12. Good Will sells okay clothing but very bad computers.
  13. I don’t actually need every new gadget that comes on the market.
  14. Refer back to no. 1, I gotta go!
  15. Ahhh…that reminds me. “If it’s brown, flush it down. If it’s yellow, let it mellow.” Don’t know how much water that actually saves but I’m beginning to believe it isn’t worth it. Yuck.
  16. I should have bought a snow blower when I had the money.
  17. I’d rather go without than eat generic cereal or peanut butter.
  18. You can stuff a lot of snacks in your clothes when you go to the movies. (provided there was a movie actually worth sacrificing a meal for. Just saying..)
  19. Selling junk on eBay is not worth the effort.
  20. The less I do, the lazier I get.
  21. Anniversary gifts are overrated ( he said while a frying pan goes whizzing past him)
  22. I should have bought gloves when I could afford them.
  23. The poorer you are, the fatter you get.
  24. Duct tape fixes eyeglasses.
  25. Duct tape does not work on muffler repairs but it does patch up a broken steering wheel.
  26. I should have bought more duct tape when I could afford it.
  27. Socks without holes is a luxury.
  28. No matter how indigent I am, I don’t want help from the government! I just want a job.
  29. Generic Anything is awful.
  30. If you type “job” in your browser, you will get 100’s of scams offering to strike it rich while sitting in your underwear at home.
  31. Cheap beer is disgusting.
  32. Hand soap can be used for shampoo – but I should have bought real shampoo when I had the money.
  33. Nothing says “poor” like a boxed mac & cheese dinner.
  34. It’s illegal to sell your wife on Craigslist.
  35. Bill collectors will manage to get your phone number no matter how many times you change it.

There’s plenty more but this is enough for one snowy morning. If you have any input or comments, please send them along! Thanks.

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Written by boofeeder

January 21, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Posted in economy, humor

4 Responses

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  1. Reblogged this on Didio’s Weblog.

    dondidio

    January 24, 2012 at 4:07 pm

  2. Thanks for the informative article, it was a good read and I hope its ok that I share this with some facebook friends. Thanks.

    Neck pain relief

    January 25, 2012 at 6:16 am

    • Thanks for the comment! You are more than welcome to share this on FB. Best, Don

      dondidio

      January 25, 2012 at 1:41 pm

  3. […] The Obama Recession Has Taught Me A Few Lessons. […]


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